That tears it...

Now, I was thinking about posting about the unfair division of labor in marriage.  At first, your job is to clean the floor, then wax the no-wax floor, then clip the hedges, paint the exterior of the house, mow the lawn, then sickle the weeds because he doesn't believe in weed whackers.  

This morning my job was to clean up a rather large dead white bird that was stoned to death in my front yard and a plastic baggie of what looked like human diarrhea.  They were both found on the property line (opposite ends of my yard). 

Okay... I'm not happy. 

This has got to stop

How do you know I don't have a surveillance system?

I don't know what kind of bird it was.  It was a fresh kill.  It was white, with pink claws.  It's torso had a hole in it.  There were several white feathers that littered the sidewalk and someone placed a couple of huge rocks at the base of my city owned tree. 

Our city animal control department doesn't do anything.  They just collect taxes for pet registrations and euthanize unwanted pets.  They also kill beloved pit bulls for no other reason than a councilman's stupidity. 

So, I took the liberty of disposing of the body. 

Upon walking to the other side of the property line, where my trash container was set out for the garbage collector, I noticed a see-through plastic baggie of green goo.

 It looked like henna with cinnamon...but it didn't smell like it. 

Whoever put that there needs to lay off of foods with green dye.  You may also have a food allergy that is making you sick. I once knew a physician who made his living studying human waste.  I think I learned too much talking to him over barely touched lunches. 

And...

A plastic baggie?  Really?  How much anal control does it take to take a dump into a plastic baggy? 

Or was someone just making a point about my love of nature and trying to piss me off because I'm a tree hugger and they used something that won't decompose? 

Sick puppy.   

I don't know who you are but you're tempting me to call on things you don't want to deal with.  It's best to leave this house alone.  The last time I had a coven cast a return to sender spell two idiots ended up in the hospital; one had a stroke and the other was injured being stupid.  They were both angry at the man in the basement. 

Because he is here, in this home, any negativity shot at him impacts me.  If you're my friend leave it be.  You're not protecting me by irritating him. 

Talk to me and leave your shit at home.  The last thing you want is a practicing magician to get ahold of your DNA.


Love,

S.

Edit around noon:  It may be time to ditch the negative people in my life.

Edit around 7:25 p.m.:  Thank you for putting the poo in a plastic baggy.  I guess paper would have been...messier. 

The bird and bloody rocks may have been a coincidence.

I pray it doesn't happen again.