Lies, In-Laws, and Cargiving Laws

Well, well, well...

I'm confused. 

Last week, I fielded a call from my ex's sister.  She wanted me to tell her brother that her father had stage one lung cancer and a rigorous chemo schedule.  I asked her to call him herself, she declined. 

A few days later, my former best friend from high school called my ex to ask him if I let him know his father had an inoperable esophageal tumor.  Nope, I didn't tell him that.  I told him his sister called to say his dad had stage one lung cancer and several chemo treatments a week before suggesting that he call his father. 

Now, my former best friend is calling over here saying that his father has brain tumors. 

In the past, when his parents were sick, they'd call over here wanting me to house keep for them. 

They'd tell me that their children would not help, even though they provide 40+ hours of free daycare for their children on a weekly basis. 

I used to help them with anything they asked.  I used to tote his parents, aunts, and uncles around town.  I used to babysit their grand kids, take them to doctor appointments and clean their houses but that was before they got weird.  I never asked for anything in return. 

They disowned their son when I enrolled in a graduate program.  They spread lies about me to the people on campus.  They threatened to have me arrested, claiming that I threatened them. 


I cannot help them.  If I went over to their home with my mop, I'd be afraid of what they'd say I did with it.  They've lied about me in the past, claiming I'd threatened them, stolen their beanie babies, and schemed to take their retirement.  I did ask their kids to get them screened for Alzheimer's disease but they ridiculed me.  I can't do anymore as it doesn't seem worth the risk to be kind to these people at this point. 

Their son has bankrupted me (and that saga keeps going on and on and on).  I can't even pay for a provider to help them. 

I can't take responsibility for my in-laws short of winning the lotto. 

This is hard. 

Thankfully, this state doesn't have filial laws on the books yet.  I don't know what to do for them except pray that they're lying about the cancer.

I get the sense that, this time, they're telling the truth. 

It hit me that there must be a reason that they think we owe them.  I'm wondering if he borrowed money from his parents that I do not know about.

They keep saying that they bought our home.  They didn't.  It was my life savings that bought our house.  I paid off his pre-marital credit card debt with my inheritance.  His parents didn't help.

I do know he would sign over entire paychecks to his sister when we first got married.  Perhaps there was a reason for that.

Should I ask?

I'll stay quiet.  I'd bet that they would tell me if they sent money here that I had no knowledge of.  They'd probably be seeking repayment by now.  They would be specific as to the amount, right?  

I don't know. 

I can't help them.  I've got to find a way to support this household.  I'm wracking my brain on that one.  It's a long story.

Maybe I'll share later.  I think I'm being played. 

Today I am researching Filial laws and the responsibilities of in-laws.  Many states force children to care for their elderly parents.  This may push the D-thing faster than I realize.  I can stick out living in a loveless marriage if we have a fiscal plan but appears that if one exists, I'm not privy to it. 

Maybe I'm the fiscal plan.  I hate to think I was his parent's retirement care giving plan.

Hmmmm.....I wonder.

Love ya,

S.

Edit:  My ex called his parents and they were bizarre, to say the least.  His mother answered the phone and refused to say more than 'hi'.  His father told him nothing was going on and he had to ask directly about the cancer. 

The cancer in his lungs and brain actually exists.  His father was diagnosed in August.  The conversation was short and left my ex in tears.

If I left him, could he have a relationship with his parents before they die?


I've gone rounds with this for over eleven years.  My relationship with him is pretty much gone yet I fear leaving him alone.  That's pretty freakin' dysfunctional, isn't it? 

I wish they could all get it together.  Maybe if they all made me the common enemy they could have something to talk about. 

I don't know. 

Maybe I'm meant to hang out here for a while longer.