I spent the day trying to figure out what was going on with my daughter. Then I spent the afternoon talking to other grannies (most of whom are 25 years older than I). Most grannies resent the generation Y sense of entitlement and have issues with them expecting free childcare. Granted, most of the women I spoke to have a retirement fund. Mine was raided. I have nothing to live on and I don't want to live in poverty the rest of my life.
I can't figure out how to be a free babysitter for my grand-daughter.
Four months ago, my daughter needed daycare so she could attend a meeting. The baby's father couldn't do it as he had to work, so my daughter took the newborn on public transportation, in the cold, to get to school and attend class (with the baby in tow).
I offered to watch the baby four hours a week, so my daughter could attend the class undistracted.
The baby's father pitched a fit because he liked to drive my daughter's car. Since he had the car, he had to drive the five miles to my house to drop the baby off. I couldn't do it as I have other duties in the morning at the public school.
Anyway, the father was to watch the child on his days off (Tuesdays and Thursdays ) while my daughter worked at an internship.
Then the baby's father got greedy. He said his boss wanted him available seven days a week, so he refused to watch his child at all. He expected me to watch the child on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I didn't do it. My daughter would skip her internship on some of those days only to find that her boyfriend did not go to work!
He's playing her.
I really want to get back to work. I told him I could only watch the baby part-time until I found a job.
He pitched a fit.
I still watched the baby on Wednesdays. Even while running for office, I had the little tyke in tow while rehearsing my speeches, putting on my tv makeup, and fielding interviews from the press. There was one day, I had to basically hand off the baby to mom as I walked up to a podium.
On Christmas morning, around 3:00 am, the baby's daddy woke my daughter up and started with the 'can't watch our child routine'. Again, he claims his boss expects him to work seven days a week and either my daughter is to quit school or I am to watch their baby for free on the days she attends school.
Now, remember...he refuses to help with rent, with food, with utilities or anything. He is living off of the child support money her father sent to me during her teenage years and what she earned doing odd jobs. I gave her thousands of dollars in exchange for chores around the house so she could have something to move out with.
I wonder how my ex feels about this moocher living off of his dime and using the car he gave our daughter?
Worse, I am in a dead marriage. I'm just waiting to save up enough money to pay my legal fees and leave. I don't have a man taking care of me; I've got to man up. My savings is toast. I have no health insurance and haven't had any for nearly four years. I seriously need to get a job and maybe go back to school so I can earn a living.
This is freakin' killing me.
There is a little comfort in the fact that I cannot truthfully say that I haven't seen a dick in over three years; the last one I saw was 5' 7" and 215 lbs.
I don't want the baby hurt. This guy has threatened my daughter. How far can this go?
This guy scares the hell out of me. When I told my daughter that I couldn't be relied upon for daycare because I'm looking for a job, he took everything he owned out of the apartment and left her!
On CHRISTMAS DAY!!!
What a piece of work!!
So...my ex and I promised to help her get through college and told her she could move back to the house. I'll give up my room and move into the closet (it's the size of a small bedroom). We only agreed to help if he left and she were a single parent. My ex is never around, so it will be up to me to provide the childcare.
My family is working on a solution. I think my great aunties are going to help provide back up child care in the event I find a job. Here is the rub.
It looks like she's going to take him back now that we agreed to help! If she takes him back, I'm not sure I'm going to help provide free daycare at all..I don't like being manipulated.
It went from four hours a week to twenty in a matter of weeks. It will go from twenty to forty.
The only solution I have is to move...
It's something I'm considering anyway. Yet another activist friend of mine is being harassed by the government; in two weeks two of my friends had government officials traumatize their minor children (don't want to spill the details for fear of revealing their identities). If I stay, it is only a matter of time before they start harassing my daughters and grand-daughter. It happened to another candidate in the race I was in...it could happen to me, too.
It's time for Ms. Seigfred rabble-rouser to get the hell out of here.
Where should I go?
If I go to California, there will be so many dems to fight....if I go to Arizona there will be so many repugs to fight.
Is there a friendly moderate, libertarian place that would welcome a peace loving, hypnotist granny who enjoys playing bass guitar in country bands?
Maybe I'll visit Laramie...
Or Montana...
Or Texas...
nobody messes with Texans...
Love ya,
S.
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