In Tears and Screaming

So...

The man in the basement stopped paying the bills.  He lied to me and said he was still current on the credit cards and that we didn't need to file bankruptcy now. 

As of Sunday, he said we were current. 

He lied.  


I found out this morning when a bill collector called me.

The man in the basement claimed we had $3,000 in the bank.

He said he stopped paying the bills because he wants me to put the money towards office rental.

How in the heck is that going to happen without decent credit?  I won't be able to get a lease agreement.

I'm so hurt. 

Why does he make decisions that impact me without discussing them with me? 

He begged and pleaded with me to stay to help him with the kids and doing that destroyed me financially.  I was fine 3 years ago when I tried to leave.  I stayed.  I honored my vows and that man lied to me. 

I mean....he wants to live like roommates for the sake of the children.  I can't do that if he's not paying the bills. 

I can't afford to do housekeeping for him if I need to work to pay the bills.

He's a nut to expect me to continue like this without talking to me.  Even roommates have to communicate once in a while. 

Geesh!!

I need to find a way to file for a divorce and if this blogs goes blank, you'll know exactly what has happened. 
I'm screaming. 

I'm in pain. 

I don't know which lawyer to call first...a bankruptcy one or a divorce one. 

I don't have enough money to pay for my attorney. 

Damn.....as of today, I fear that I actually hate that man in the basement!

I wish I had a divorced friend to talk to.  I don't know where to start. 

At least, I won't miss sex or companionship when I leave....I haven't had those things in years.  I just won't know where to move or how to juggle helping him with the kids and holding a job. 

This is bizarre.  It's what I deserve for trying to do the right thing. 
I should know better than to trust a compulsive liar.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  Happy Valentine's Day

Edit:  So...I was told we had $3,000 after we paid a $972 mortgage payment.

He lied.  We have $800. 

Doesn't he work?  Doesn't he work a job that paid so well that I was expected to give up my business so he could work 50+ hours a week? 

Apparently not...

WE HAD $17,000 in the bank last summer. 

Why in heck do I stay in a house and share my finances with a liar? 

That's another story. 

He was fine for years....until....his mother gave him an ultimatum.  He was to choose between her or me. 

He didn't choose.

He ignored both of us and slowly started a campaign to get me to leave. 

I think he found the last straw. 

He's left me three times. 

The first time I let him come back and stayed in our house it was because he was alone because his parents abandoned him. 

The second time I let him come back and stayed in our house because he had lost his job and I didn't want to kick him when he was down. 

The third time it was because he was over 500 pounds and I didn't want him to die alone.  I tried to help him lose the weight.  I tried.   I was hoping with the settlement money he could get the gastric bypass surgery or go on Phentermine or something....but...

$800

I can't help him much with that. 

How in the world can I have a secure financial life with a man that lies about money? 

There is no intimacy...hasn't been any for years...I can fake nearly anything.....but not being able to pay my creditors or buy heat....that's going to darn far. 

I'm still not sleeping.  I'm going to try to catch some zzzz's in the morning.