The Lesson in the Laundry Room

Today I had an ephiphany....

in the laundry room....

as I did my ex a favor so that I could be rid of the stench emenating from the basement....

and washed his skivvies. 

I had a pile of freshly bleached briefs sitting in a basket and turned to do a double take. 

The tags were all on the outside. 

That didn't look right.  I had folded about thirty pair of them inside out. 

Then it hit me. 

I've been folding his undies inside out for twenty years!  

Why didn't I know that the little access panel thingy went on the outside? 

I thought about it....

and thought about it...

apart from models, I don't really recall ever seeing a man in real life wearing those things.   

Really....

I've never had the opportunity to unwrap a package that I can recall. 

Never....

No wonder our relationship is dead.

I've never been fun! 

How disappointing is that? 

Geez! 

I asked him about it and he's always noticed but never said a word because it doesn't take but a few seconds to turn them right-side out in the mornings. 

Really? 

Wow... I guess if I had been more of a slut I would know how men's undergarments should be folded. 

Man...oh, man...

Since we were talking about packages and access panels, we began talking about more personal stuff.  In the end, it was decided that we should not even think about getting into that marital stuff again.  When men start kissing women, they start putting the woman's needs ahead of their own.  Then they go nuts because their needs are not getting met.  We both decided that it was high time for him to think about what he needed for once without intererence. 

Then I interfered.

I also asked him to consider speaking to his father.  His dad rarely blew crap out of proportion; he only did that when his wife really freaked up and he needed to defend her.  I suggested that he, consider maybe, doing a guy thing that would keep the women at bay (e.g. football game).

Whenever my exes come to me with the need to do soul searching because some chick tried to change them on some level, I hypnotize them to go take a hike.  It always works like a charm. They come back changed men.  All three of them.  One cheats, though, he bought a huge monster looking truck to take him to the top of the mountain.  The other nearly lost his toes hiking in a flooded valley.   The third one came home sunburned and sore while swearing up and down that I must be someone wonderful to trust him to have his space; yeah, yeah...I know what he likes to do while hiking. 

When we were really young, an old man caught us and quipped, "so you found a girl into who is into fly fishing....keep her!" 

Why didn't I take note of the undies that day? 

What is wrong with me? 

This was the first time I told a guy to spend time with his dad away from obnoxious gossipy women.   I wonder if it will have the same impact. 

We'll see. 

As for me, I'm going to do more laundry.  Maybe I'll get more insights as to how crappy it is for some poor soul to be married to me.  How abusive is it having a wife that makes you undress yourself?

I really suck!  Well, maybe..... not as much as I thought.   

Love,

S.