It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. -Mae West
It's hard to be fun when you have to be clean or play nice with aholes. On the bright side, I am happy to report that I'm still being good. I made it 24 hours.
I haven't hypnotized a soul today.
I haven't played a trick on anyone.
I did catch myself thinking about something kinda filthy. I realized I was grinning when a guy was grinning back at me at the sporting goods store. I don't remember what it was now. What was it? Let's see...I was looking at the camping gear.
Oh! I remember!! It had to do with hiking and sex etiquette. I recently read an article that cautioned everyone to make sure the area is left like no one ever came.
I think I finally got the joke. Don't ask me how many days ago I read that article.
How embarrassing...
Anyway, I spent my day speaking to several small business owners and came up with a concept for a city-wide website to help promote the vendors in our city. I think its a go.
Because most of my clients are artists, I am actually thinking about renting a studio and office in the arts district. That's a tough one. The arts district is a mess and they could use support but the tax auditors in this city have threatened me. Maybe if I had a better CPA they'd leave me alone and I wouldn't have to hypnotize them to forget the number five.
That thought made me realize that I attract artists as therapy clients because that's what I do in my spare time. I'm an artist. Like attracts like.
This blog is almost five years old, most of the 1,000+ posts are hidden due to my tiny stint in politics. Over the past three and a half years, one can see my descent into angry madness. The more a couple of city employees harassed me and the more I learned about the weird crap between one of them and my husband, the angrier I became.
At some point, I stopped attracting artists to me and started bringing angry activists and politicians into my life. As I spent time with them and became more of a trickster, I became more involved in politics. It took over my life.
Look what I attracted to myself!! I brought a bunch of lying lunatics into my life. Not all of them are bad, but the ones that were closest to me were not honorable at all. It took an ethical politician to point that out to me.
So...I'm going to try to get back to what I like to do. Tonight I'm going to try to digitally draw an abstract portrait of motivation. This ought to be interesting as I hate computers!
I missed my favorite bass player's show tonight. I'll check in with him next week. Tomorrow I'm hanging out at a relatives art show. Maybe I'll write to my singing coach and see if I can see her again.
I'll minimize my political involvement to five hours per week...maybe then I can get back to being myself. This is important for an empath. I tend to take on the behavior of the people around me.
I've been hanging out with dysfunctional people. I gained 17 freakin' pounds from drinking. I have a closet full of size 8 clothes that I miss wearing. I also have to do something about my newly protruding 'angry wrinkle'; the one that comes out when I'm constantly b!tching. Trust me, politics makes people old and gray.
I'd rather be pretty than b!tchy.
Being good was enlightening. I must have better self-control than I realized. So, I'll try to contain my filthy self to my art until I find a better outlet (like hiking).
But that doesn't mean you can screw me over because you'll never know when that coyote is going to present herself.
Love ya,
S.
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