Confused

So...

If he rushes home from work, makes a beeline for you, grabs your private parts through your clothes and tells you that you want him,

he's not taking the divorce thingy very seriously...

is he? 

This is why women ignore the advice of well meaning lawyers and move out of the house..

isn't it? 

Thank goodness that acting on that would be a physical impossibility for us right now.  I figure that if he goes on a 500 calorie a day diet, I've bought myself at least six months of freedom.

I wish I could wake up tomorrow knowing exactly how to handle this.

Yes, he's right.  I DO care.  I care for all three of my exes but that doesn't mean that I'm going to suck from their straws. 


Sigh...

how do I explain this? 

I've got to bite the bullet and move...don't I?

I need something more than lies and cheap alcohol.

The longer I stay here, the more I question how crappy I was in my previous relationships.  I have spoken to the two guys I knew before I got married to this man.  The first one won't tell me anything useful; he pretends that I was a good person.  The second one is all too happy to make me out to be Satan incarnate.  The truth is that I'm probably a little bit angel and a little bit devil and confused the hell out of both of them. 

I need to get out of here so that I no longer reflect on my exes or how I screwed everything up in the past.  I need to move on. 

One thing is certain, life is weird and I am finding that men are confusing.  Maybe its best not to try to understand things.  They are what they are...whatever that means. 

Love,

S.