Parting Shots...

First Boyfriend - "I turned into you and you turned into me."

I don't know what he was talking about. He still doesn't have 36Ds and I fail to have that kind of package.

First Husband - "You'd make a better mistress than a wife."

He married his mistress because she could cook. He still tries to push me into the back seat of his car. At least the man knew what he wanted.

Second Husband - "I never loved you. I only loved the way you made me feel."

Ouch. That one stings, especially after nineteen years.

He wants to stay married while he lives in the basement.

I don't want to spend another night alone. It hurts to wake up numerous times just to cry.

I'd do anything never to feel that ever again.

That must be what hell feels like and after all these years, it really is starting to get to me.

I wish the economy would improve so that I could leave.

Without Love

Life is Meaningless.

Well...well...well...

So, today I got proof that someone in a position of power was reading my blog and trying to use it against me. He betrayed himself in an email.

Fiction is such a fun tool. I think I'm going to stop playing with you now as I figured out how you were getting information about me. I wasn't sure if you were calling my in-laws, or if my ex and your employee were having an affair and the info came from pillow talk.

Now, I think you guys were cyberstalking me. Don't know how you found this blog. How many hours of taxpayer funded internet service did that take, dear one?

By the way, there will be a special place in hell for the person who signed me up for that swinger's club. I'm a prude. It's not nice to keep the horny people waiting for a response. You might want to fix that.

The lies, the forum posts, the bizarre emails - it all makes so much more sense now.

Stop it now, solve the problem or we will meet face to face. I promise...let me know if you want me to bring cookies.

Yep, I've got something up my sleeve. I haven't really kept it all that quiet, I'm sure the goons your boss sent to spy on me told you all about it. It wasn't my idea. I didn't want to have to do it but your little email to me today sealed the deal. That wasn't so bright my friend.

It was smart, however, having a videographer sit across from me in a restaurant. I do wonder if he bothered the turn the camera on. My cohorts didn't realize what was going on and I know they betrayed those plans to your lil' spy and his friend.

Your spy was very polite and, if you care to know...he spoke incredibly highly of his employer. He DID admit to working for you and knowing your boss and his parents. You should be quite proud that someone speaks of you and your boss in such a polite fashion.

I invited him back, of course. We need diverging viewpoints, you know.

To tell the truth, I'm going to miss playing with you....sigh...but I figured out where the half-truths originated. That was my goal all along.

Pretty cool, eh?

White Feathers and the Promise

So, I went out to look for a new computer because mine keeps on sporting the blue screen of death.

I found a cute lil’ thing for $190 bucks. It is purple, has a webcam and more memory than the one I’m using now. I may end up with that.

Walking out of the computer store, I stood at the parking lot wondering what the heck was wrong with me. I’m not supposed to feel like this. I’m old enough to know better.

I’m an actress. Why the heck can’t I hide what I’m feeling?

Then….a little white feather flew by and landed on my sleeve.

Crap….

Little white feathers always reminded me of HIM. They always did. They are beautiful no matter where they fly. They are pristine no matter where they go. Years ago, I promised to love him no matter where he went, no matter what he did, and no matter who he did it with.

Okay…I surrender.

If he wants to be my friend and if he wants to meet with me before I get over this dorky feeling, I have a plan. Yep, I will wear a huge turtle neck and horrifically padded bra so that I hide any manifestation of any feelings that occur on my chest or neck area.

And, we will meet at a gym or a place where hot firefighters hang out so that I can blame any abhorrent symptomology on someone else. I think that will do the trick.
I’ll also wear camphor perfume, buy some dorky glasses, and forgo shaving my legs for the next month or so.

That outta do it.

He’s my friend. I need to be there for him. If I have to look like an ape order to be there for him, so be it.

I’m sorry for pulling away due to my own issues. Still, conventional wisdom dictates that should an old flame begin feeling those feelings again, she should stay away until she simmers down so that there is not a repeat of traumatic experience.

I love HIM too much to ever, ever hurt him again.

Maybe my pulling away hurts him, too.

I'm sorry. Besides, he may find the situation mildly amusing. Everyone can use a laugh.

Love ya,

S.

Unwanted Holiday Gift Rant

Man, I'm freakin' cursing a lot.

I need to get busy... I've been trying to write, to record, to develop a class but my creative facilities are completely gone.

I'm terrified.

I don't know where I'm going to live in three months. I've been told that I have until March to get my affairs in order. My ex is going to go bankrupt. I'm going to be left hanging. I don't know what to do.

I've cried so much that I lost my voice three days ago. I haven't returned phone calls. I've done the bare minimum. I'm debating liquidating my assets and cancelling contracts I've made with others.

I am leaving so many beautiful people hanging.

I'm frightened and it's hard to do much when you're freaking out.

Then, today my old flame from high school wrote to me. I am so frightened for him. Five years ago, I had a dream that he got in a car crash while driving a gold car. I freaked out and prayed. Then, on the eve of the winter solstace, I had a dream that this man visited me, sporting a cane, around the holidays. In the dream, he walks up to my house and calls my name as I'm shoveling snow. His voice hadn't changed. He comes in and visits wearing a long sleeved burgundy shirt and blue jeans. He has the same eyes. We share coffee. He flirts. I get vertigo. He leaves.

Two years ago, he came to visit me. I hadn't seen him in 20+ years. He looked just like the man in my dream. During that visit, I experienced vertigo for the first time. It's gotten worse over the past two years. I've had it nearly daily since mid-July of this year.

Sadly, I've toned down my work, hoping I will heal soon. The constant spinning makes it hard to think.

For the past 15 months, I've actually began to have freakish fainting spells, too. It's a little bit comical. I'll be looking at something; the view will get distorted and look like a cool painting. Then, the next thing I know, I'm on the floor and hours have passed.

This must be psychosomatic.
I don't get it.

Anyway, this old flame drove out to Colorado six months ago. That turkey bought a GOLD car and met me for lunch! I warned him not to drive a gold car. Scorpios don't listen to Pisces. They should! I don't mean to brag but many people do know that I 'see things' I don't want to see and they usually take my advice. Not him (he was with me when I predicted a suicide and attempted murder - I guess he forgot about that). Dude!! What the heck?

On the day we met, I sat in that restaurant freaking out because I was terrified my vision would come true cuz he drove the car that I saw in my nightmares.

Five months later, he broke several bones and never told me how it happened. Sometimes he'll tell me the truth about the severity of his injuries; other times he will minimize it. I KNOW that he's in pain. I have nightmares about him to this very day. I'm scared for him.

I want to be his friend - he needs a friend now.....but-

my heart won't let me be a decent uncreepy friend!

I'm so damn mad at myself.

Today I learned that he's coming to town. I know he sees this stupid blog.

So....dear friend...

Please don't be angry if I stay away from you. I realized today that I'm feeling the most unfair feelings towards you. It will be awkward. When you see it in my eyes it will suck the life force from your veins. My love always did. Your blue eyes turned gray. Your joy went away. I hurt you and I cannot ever, ever do that again. You are my friend. Friends don't do that to each other.

What the he!!?

Yep...I think those flames came back. I think I love you and not in the 'I want to pick on you and set you up with my hot friend' kinda love.

I'm in rebound mode. It's not pretty.

Remember, those flames have the sting of hell....and that is not a good thing.

Oh, man....it would be ugly....so ugly.

Besides, I'm 20 pounds heavier. I'm losing my hair (seriously....in the past month my hair has gotten so damn thin that my stylist complained about it). I've got cellulite. I found one gray hair (in a place I will not use henna). My skin is as dry as....uh....a Rhino.........

and my promises are as good as a RINO.

My intellectual facilities have been moved aside by stupid thoughts of skyclad acrobatic maneuvers.

No...no...NO! This is bad.

So bad...

Love makes no sense....especially now....it is a bain! Friendship is all that counts.

What the he!! is wrong with me?

Doesn't this suck? So, unless I can get together with ten hot single women for a visit with you, I can't say as much as "hello." I figure ten hot ladies will keep you distracted enough to ignore me.
That's the only solution I have for the issue. HELP!!!

Forgive me. So, unless I promise to sit my butt on a pile of cold, cold snow with naked pictures of ....uh....

man, I'm not sure anything could turn this off ....

it is that bad.

I've got to avoid our hometown while you are here. I can send something to your Mom's house, if you'd like.

I, though, need to stay the heck away.

I love you too much to amuse you in this fashion. Funny as it may seem, this is the stuff Freddie Kruger creates on Elm Street.

Not good....

Forgive me. I want to be there for you -but- this is too damn strange.

I miss being a prude, damn it. So, unless I can behave myself, I'm going to hide out in a cave somewhere this holiday season.

Praying this will pass,

S.

P.S. Happy Holidays - May you unwrap someone that you'll enjoy!

Passive Aggressive Baking B!tch

So....

The man in the basement mentioned that he was going on a diet.

Apparently, some sex doc on a talk radio show said that a man loses the equivalent of 1" off his member for each 20 pounds he gains. I've spent about an hour trying to find a transcript of that radio show cuz I really have got to hear or see that quote for himself.

Since the day I met him, he was always 100 pounds overweight. He's gained an additional 100 pounds since he lost his job.  I'd estimate his weight to be over 450 pounds now.

No, I can't hypnotize him because I promised that I wouldn't do that to him (don't want to be unethical or anything). I can't play my subliminal/brainwave stuff around him because it puts him into seizures. I can't cook for him because our diets don't mesh well (he likes meat...I like tofu...it's weird).

But hey, it looks like someone else found a way to motivate an improvement of his diet!

I'm wondering, if perhaps, he thinks there is nothing down there now. Do men actually worry about their size of their package pushing into negative numbers? Like, are they thinking that they can gain so much weight that it turns in on itself?

I don't know.

Getting fat will not neuter any man or turn him into a girl. Trust me on that.

I'm thinking that the sex doc may have said that a woman may sense an overweight guy as being smaller but, seriously, that would only be a boring woman with no creativity and an inability to twist into bizarre shapes.

Sometimes being double jointed can be a blessing. For me, though, it's been a curse. Lax joints are more prone to injury. Sex is fun but physical therapy.....well....not so much.

Anyhow....I couldn't help but immediately utilize this information. I had a brief communication with another ex where I offered to have his favorite neighborhood bakery send him some goodies for Thanksgiving. I'm thinking $100 worth of rich buttery cookies ought to make up for the pain he put me through acting like a depressed daredevil dork muffin and scaring the sh!t out of me.

Just teasing.... I won't have the baker send him so much sugar. I'll be incredibly evil. We'll send him the sugar free cookies!! That will kill his tongue more than it will shrink his perception of his package! That way, we can kill two birds with one stone; destroy his ability to taste and to get funky with it.

Beware of the evil ex!

Or better yet...just avoid her!

Muahahahaha!

LOL!

P.S - Hey! It's fun being a brat. I'm sure he's glad he ran away by now.  He dodged a super duper bullet. If  he has any doubts, I can always send him a topless picture and, NO, it will not be anything like that sneaky cleavage shot he took with his camera in the coffee shop.

Yes...I know about that.

My ex has a spank bank. 
This one will be of me without support. All I have to do is get naked and aim the camera at my ankles.

Just when I think he'll never speak to me again....he surprises me! I'm beginning to wonder if this is what G.W. Bush felt like when he claimed that his mission in Iraq was accomplished.

Sigh.... when he DOES find his true lady love, I'm going to miss picking on him. It's actually kind of fun.

Love ya,

S.

Funeral Drama and Crazy Toxic Expectations

So, I attended Carol's funeral.

The first night was the viewing and the Catholic Mass. Very few people showed up. I felt so sad for Carol's daughters.

The next morning was the funeral. I got the privilege of getting glared at by my ex's mother and father, his aunt and uncle, and his sister-in-law.

His Uncle actually approached me, got within two inches of my face before spinning on his heels and turning back. His wife just stared.

Maybe I'm stunning? I don't know.

Thank Goodness, I had a full schedule. I skipped out on the wake to attend to my clients. Upon arriving at work, I noticed a small wardrobe malfunction. There was a teeny tiny tear in the crotch of my black suit...maybe that's why they were staring. It made sense and gave me quite a laugh. I mean, I was wearing all black and I'm sure whitey tighties stood out like a sore thumb.

Or so I thought. I think they are mad about something else.

My Ex went to the wake. His father criticized his weight.

His father demanded to know where he worked and was upset when Mike wouldn't tell him. In the past, his Mother and Sister were known to call his bosses to either complain about Mike's workload or hours.


They have contacted my employers to spread gossip and a teeny tiny part of me wonders if this is where Mike's former boss got some of the weird fodder for his firing (you know, the stuff about my degree making Mike "lazy", my disability that they think I'm faking, and Mike's supposed propensity for arguing on the phone - it does sound like the kind of stuff my Mother-in-Law used to say way back in the day). I still can't figure out why I'd read crap like that in court hearing transcripts pertaining to the City I live in.  Hmmmm....it's weird.

Someday they'll understand that people in power should not spin gossip. The truth usually does far more damage. Methinks that's gonna be an expensive lesson for them.

Anyway, it finally came out that his parents have the expectation for me to come to their house and clean for them, or as they put it "help out".

I can't. They lie and say that I've threatened them. They hint that I've beat them. They've stated overtly that my brother-in-law stole money from them and his wife steals (get this...it's soo funny) Beanie Babies. They scream that what I do isn't good enough. I just can't do it. I used to help. I can't anymore. Seriously, if I did visit with a mop, how long will it take for me to get arrested due to false allegations of dustbunny theft, threatening behavior or abuse? Absolutely not....

Oh, and they love to accuse me of hypnotizing people to do whatever I want them to do. I used to get phone calls from his relatives bitching me out for "mesmerising" them. Yeah, yeah, it must be the shiny jewelry I wear. I'm sorry. I didn't do that on purpose. Truth be told, I only hypnotized their son once and if they only knew what it caused their son to do, they'd have him hooked up to an IV to replenish bodily fluids. He still talks about that (he should do more than talk...stupid, stupid...).

Because people have to be intelligent in order to be hypnotized, my in-laws absolutely have nothing to worry about.

As far as the house keeping issue, they have a 37 year old daughter at home. She can help. Their other son and daughter-in-law live less than a mile away. My in-laws claim to babysit their two children every day, why can't they arrange to help them in return?

I just can't do it. I live an hour away and, besides, I am too afraid. My marriage to her son ended when she started lying about me. Why should I put myself at further risk?

At the wake, several people had approached Mike to complain that he doesn't show up to family functions. Well, his Mother had basically told him he was uninvited to family functions until we divorced. His Father sent a letter disowning him. They don't tell Mike about funerals, weddings, or anything - how in the world is Mike supposed to know?

This doesn't make sense. Really, they can't talk to him but they want his help. They expect mine. It isn't going to happen.

Upon hearing about the expectation that I was to do their housework from a family friend, I asked how that can be accomplished if they constantly glare at me and refuse to speak one word to me. Seriously, how will I know what they need me to do if they cannot communicate to me that the toilet needs cleaned, the floors mopped, or the laundry done?

Well, it appears that they don't want me to do the housework per se...Today I was informed that I am supposed to hire a maid for them!

Uh.....I prefer to contribute to worthy organizations that don't punish me for volunteering my time or money.

Goodness -

And, you know, it's really tough for a psychic to visit a cemetery on Halloween. I tried to convey to my Brother-in-Law that Mr. Ortiz did not like it when he stood on his grave....he didn't understand.

At least, I had charming company in my midst. Maybe I should go back and bring Mr. Ortiz some flowers to thank him for his warm welcome in a gathering of cold shoulders. He truly has a beautiful spirit.

Happy Samhain,

S.

P.S. After reflecting upon the family friends insight, I realized that I DO like the idea of a maid but I am not in a position to pay for it. Their antics broke my bank account. Their son stole the 401K and I'm terrified of the tax liability. I can't afford it for them. Besides, they have made it clear that I am not a member of their family thus it is not my responsibility.

Maybe they can get their three kids to split the bill. I'll mention this to Mike.

I truly like the idea so much so that I promise myself to hire a maid to help my elderly aunt when I make my first six figure mark and after this divorce thingy is settled. She helped me after I was orphaned. She should get help now.

I've got my own beautiful people to look after.

Love you guys,

S.

Slow and Stupid

So....

I found myself in the grocery store with my ex. He said he was thirsty and wanted tea.

I spied the coffee and exclaimed "Oh my, I love Irish Cream!"

He said "Me, too."

Thinking he wanted a cup, I grabbed another and heard "I don't want the coffee" he stood there grinning like a freaky animal who could barely verbalize "I guess, you can can guess where my mind is today."

Uh, no. It took thirty minutes for me to figure out what that that man meant. I was standing near a schoolyard when I could feel the heat rise through my body.

Four hours later, I'm still blushing.

Gawd, I'm slow!

Love ya,

Some Irish-American Crazy Chick

Is That Sworn Testimony or a Bad Screen Play?

So,

I finally received information pertaining to my estranged spouses employment with the city. It came in two padded manila envelopes and the stack of paper is a little over 4" deep.

The first manila envelope contained the unemployment hearing transcripts; you know, the ones that claimed he was fired because I had a master's degree, fibromyalgia, and what not.

The second manilla envelope contains sworn testimony from his supervisor that contains only two bizarre lies about me (thank you for cutting the number down, dear).

These lies are not nearly as embellished as the ones I that I saw in a recent legal filing.

So, it looks like the city attorneys are embellishing the lies, not the supervisor.

They may have her over a barrel though; I read her job description. She is not qualified to hold her position (as she does not hold a CPA). If she did, she would be in violation of a professional code of conduct.

Oh, but I can prove she lied a couple of times in a sworn statement (not good, sweetie - no job is worth jail time or risking a civil lawsuit). My ex only has ten days to sue them. If he decides not to do that, then after 2.5 years it will finally be my turn at bat!

I swing hard and have never missed.

Not once.

I used to have a reputation for taking on various school boards across the state (those were the good ol' days). This is nothing compared to taking on a bunch of crooked jerks who threaten to harm your daughter.

I won every time, too.

Ah...they've prepared me well for this.

I do, however, notice that this governmental department is breaking numerous laws and that the director is in violation of a professional code of conduct.

I have a call into a State Board to get a sense of what I can do about it. I'm also collecting names of CPA's who are complaining about the practice that they admit so freely in these papers.

As of now, I have a stack of papers pertaining to this issue that I estimate to be around 900 pages (including his original employment file, emails from people working at the city, and slanderous stuff about myself and my ex that I read on the Internet). It appears that one of the supervisor's lies was shared with a well-meaning local politician who tried to help me (but did not realize the employee was in error - no politician can help what does not exist).

I have to ask, though.... why? why lie about me? if your story against my ex was so iron clad why did you feel the need to say so many inaccurate things about his wife?

Have you realized that you really should be mindful of lying about strangers. One in ten people will fight you tooth and nail. The other nine will shy away but you never know who that tenth person is going to be...she may be a middle-aged, red-headed, Irish hypnotist who dabbles in politics and activism.

Sorry honey. Your boss made a horrific mistake in allowing you to target me and my family.

Have they realized what I'm planning to do with all those freakish emails that city bosses, lawyers, HR managers, and politicians sent to me to justify the bad behavior?

Just return my money, change your policy and we will call it even.

Otherwise....I'll see you on the other side of my next project.

Once I hire a lawyer, start paying for advertising, or accept the next interview offer....well... the deal will be sealed. I'll have to start talking and sharing so that I can prevent this from happening to anyone else in the future.

Please take care of it....soon.

Love and Light,

S.

P.S. I won't even have to show my evidence to the world. Nope...I'm going to find other people to share their stories. I found one so far but, sadly, he's too intimated to talk. There will be others.

Fix this -or- I will.

I want peace. Peace will come when they play by the rules and make sure this bullying does not happen to another family again.

Disclaimer: The material on this blog may or may not be factual. I may or may not be a hypnotist. I may or may not be Irish. I may or may not be named Siegfred. The only way to know for sure whether or not this post is factual would be to ask the person who you believe wrote it. She may or may not deny it. She may or may not be trying to find where the gossip is coming from and whether or not taxpayer funds are being used to access it or collect information on politically active citizens. She may or may not be happily IP, time and location logging! Cheers! One way or another you will be caught.

Ex Follies - Part 2

Today, I decided that I grew tired of arguments with stupid people. As someone who believes in the law of mental magnetism, I wondered what I did to draw so many dolts into my world.

I told Mike that I wanted to take a week away from him and the internet because I needed a "Dork Fast."

He only heard something about needing a dork fast and offered his services.

NO, I don't need a dork.

NO, I don't want a dork right now.

NO, you don't want me to run around calling you fast.

I need to get away from dorks! Hence - dork fast.

Get it?


Be good,

S.

I'm torn between giving up my business and moving out or trying to stay and revive my business. Either way, I'm screwed. I'm going to need more money to solve this problem. Don't worry, I'll figure this out soon.

Never, Ever Covertly Hypnotize Your Ex

I'm feeling incredibly guilty...

Two years ago, I accidentally hypnotized an ex to have more adventures....I was worried, he made it sound like he led a very mundane life. When he said he liked his motorbike, I egged him on to help him get out of the house. I told him to have more adventures and come back and tell me about them in two years.

Two years later, he had a very short lunch with me. He told me about his adventures and left. I drove home and tried not to laugh my @$$ off after I realized what went down.

I'm sorry....so sorry....crap....

This ex is a Facebook friend.

• He goes hiking...cool!
• He goes scuba diving....super cool!

How do I know this? Well, whenever he "likes" a page it comes across my feed.

Sometimes between the time I last logged in and now, he liked "skydiving".

Okay, now I'm getting a bit scared for him.

I'm seriously thinking about hiding his status feed before I start seeing him "like" pages such as

"Race Car Driving"
"Yacht Racing"
"Ice Climbing"
"Pissing off Red-headed Irish ex-girlfriends"
"Role playing as a Fender jazz bass (being slapped silly)" 
"Conjuring Demons for Fun"
"Sleeping with starving wildebeests"
"Let's all Rub our bodies with Raw Meat and Go on an African Safari"
"Naked Bull Riding"
"Running with the Bulls - Naked..... with a very Red Sunburn"
"Bathing in vats of Hot Acid wearing only a hair net"

or something equally freaky and dangerous.

If this man has a death wish, I don't want to know about it.

Sure, I love him....but....if I worry about him, I'll send negative energy his way.

So, if you are the dude of concern, I am going to ask you to imagine yourself going home in health and peace before embarking on anything remotely risky. See yourself safe. Don't think about your lungs exploding or any other violent imagery you want to share with your squeamish ex.

Oh, and, if you find yourself in a room with fifty horny twenty-year-olds....imagine yourself as unstoppable and enjoy it!

I don't want to know about it.

I'm going to avoid Facebook for awhile.

Love ya...

S.

P.S. I just realized why I have so many nightmares about you. You're a Scorpio. It all makes sense now.

Edit 9/12/10 - Okay, so I hid his feed so I wouldn't worry anymore. I tried to imagine visiting him when he is in his nineties thinking that, on some very stupid level, that this would tempt fate into letting him live longer.

So...all was well until I caught the news and saw a horrid fire in the county where I last heard he lived.

I spent one entire night lighting white candles and doing hyper-religious things that I probably shouldn't discuss hoping that things would take care of themselves with a minimum loss of life.

The next day I realized I was being incredibly stupid, so I checked my old friend's Facebook page to make sure no one was freaking out, offering condolences, or planning his funeral.

Thankfully, no that didn't happen. He did not appear to be impacted by the fire.

Whew...

but...

there was a tiny reference to an injury....a severe injury...an injury that that could occur in a horrid car crash. The same injury could also occur from a skydiving accident.

I felt horrid that I hadn't started praying for him sooner. I couldn't because I hid his feed and didn't know what had happened.

I un-hid his feed.

You know, I'm just going to pray he gets married off to the girl of his dreams. That is one sure fire way to keep men in line. Just try risky behavior without proper preparation as a married man; it isn't going to happen very easily. Your wife will sulk, she'll cry and he'll be too much a kind hearted soul to scare the crap out of the woman he loves.

See? It's all good when no one gets hurt.

If I knew many nice girls, I'd set him up with someone. I tend to hang out with politicians, and while most of them are good at screwing, I'm going to make a bet that it isn't in the way in which my dear friend likes.

But then, he lives in a blue state...maybe he's into that kind of thing.

Love ya dearly,

S.

An Extreme Political Action Group Idea

Eureka! I've got it!

It is the world's best idea, or so it seems. You know how it goes, you have one hour of sleep, a very hectic day, and no coffee-pot in sight and you have what sounds like a bright idea....

but after seven hours slumber, you realize, it sucks.

The idea sprung from a conversation with my ex, who complained that I always made him "look like a buffoon." Well, to tell the truth, I never tried to make him look like a buffoon. Some people seem to naturally take on that aura when they're being crass.

Some people think that they deserve the sun, the moon, and the stars. This tends to piss a lot of people off, especially when that someone starts poking fun at innocent people who tell him that it isn't a planet that needs brought down to earth - it is some crass idiot's sense of self-entitlement that needs to do a face plant in the dirt.

Back in the day, when he'd stick his feet in his mouth, I would tell everyone that he was joking and find some way to make it funny. People would laugh and walk away amused.

I wondered - could this help put a sunny facade on the idiocy that is local politics?

Then it hit me....we need an Extremist City Comedy Troupe! Yes, we do. Laughter always makes the bitter pills go down faster. If the City Council members vote for something absolutely horrid and they get blamed by the citizens who have to pay for their mistake, they can say they were just joking or distracted or something....yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!!

For example, if the City Attorney who lied about me added just a touch of unbelievable fiction to an employee's lie, he can say that he didn't mean it - he was just telling a joke. People forgive jokes much faster than they forgive lies and all out deceit.

Now, it is said that 30% of any given population will always trust the powers that be and pass every single tax increase asked of them. Another 30% will never trust the powers that be and always vote against every tax increase. The other 40% will have to weigh the information carefully before casting a vote. Educating the public reaches those skeptical people who want more information. I've heard people like myself called "extremist" for wanting to know more.

Well, the truth of the matter is that the real extremists never want to educate the public. They want everyone to trust everything they say. Forty percent of us cannot trust without an honest explanation. To call us "extremist" is an insult. We may just be questioning our elected officials enough to get them to think about why they shouldn't trust the lobbyists' every word.

Perhaps we can start a group of actors and comedians from the 70% of the population of our citizens who don't trust everything they see or hear at first blush. We could go to every city council meeting with an agenda of our own.

We can hire a ton of strippers to fill the front roll of every city council meeting. Then our political overlords can claim distraction if they realize they screwed up.

We could dress up as villainous Svengalies and twirl hypnowheels around - if they screw up - well, the council members could claim they were hypnotized.

We could dress up a witch doctors or, better yet, voodoo dolls and let people pin their gripes about the city on our clothes. If something goes wrong, they could claim bewitchment.

What do ya think?

Yeah....it wouldn't work. I know. Some people have behind the scenes help when it comes to looking stupid. My ex became incredibly crass when he let his lawyer do the talking. They both left the courthouse looking like dishonest buffoons.

The city council stole money from the libraries to fund their pet projects.  They asked for more money (supposedly for the libraries) but wanted to use it to fund the police department.  Their tax hike proposal lost because of the novel way in which it was written (raise taxes with inflation) and the crass attitudes among city supporters that ridiculed people for asking real questions and bringing up real concerns. Maybe, the lawyers need to be more honest and open with the people to prevent their bosses from looking like buffoons. Our elected officials don't need any help looking a tad bit untrustworthy.

Trust begins with honesty.

Hiding information breeds distrust.

So does badmouthing groups of people within earshot of people prone to talking about it.

Think about it.

Chumming the Water

I cast a line into the ocean,

full of juicy fictional scrumptious worms,

and am sitting back laughing, just waiting for the sharks to reveal themselves.

This is going to be sooooo much fun!

Gossips hell bent on vengence.....well, they can't help it.....

I guarantee that these sharks won't resist the temptation to be bad; this will be very, very good.

I'll explain later,

S.

Do you want to play a game?

I love it when men call me a witch!

Love ya,

S.