White Feathers and the Promise

So, I went out to look for a new computer because mine keeps on sporting the blue screen of death.

I found a cute lil’ thing for $190 bucks. It is purple, has a webcam and more memory than the one I’m using now. I may end up with that.

Walking out of the computer store, I stood at the parking lot wondering what the heck was wrong with me. I’m not supposed to feel like this. I’m old enough to know better.

I’m an actress. Why the heck can’t I hide what I’m feeling?

Then….a little white feather flew by and landed on my sleeve.

Crap….

Little white feathers always reminded me of HIM. They always did. They are beautiful no matter where they fly. They are pristine no matter where they go. Years ago, I promised to love him no matter where he went, no matter what he did, and no matter who he did it with.

Okay…I surrender.

If he wants to be my friend and if he wants to meet with me before I get over this dorky feeling, I have a plan. Yep, I will wear a huge turtle neck and horrifically padded bra so that I hide any manifestation of any feelings that occur on my chest or neck area.

And, we will meet at a gym or a place where hot firefighters hang out so that I can blame any abhorrent symptomology on someone else. I think that will do the trick.
I’ll also wear camphor perfume, buy some dorky glasses, and forgo shaving my legs for the next month or so.

That outta do it.

He’s my friend. I need to be there for him. If I have to look like an ape order to be there for him, so be it.

I’m sorry for pulling away due to my own issues. Still, conventional wisdom dictates that should an old flame begin feeling those feelings again, she should stay away until she simmers down so that there is not a repeat of traumatic experience.

I love HIM too much to ever, ever hurt him again.

Maybe my pulling away hurts him, too.

I'm sorry. Besides, he may find the situation mildly amusing. Everyone can use a laugh.

Love ya,

S.