Two years ago, I accidentally hypnotized an ex to have more adventures....I was worried, he made it sound like he led a very mundane life. When he said he liked his motorbike, I egged him on to help him get out of the house. I told him to have more adventures and come back and tell me about them in two years.
Two years later, he had a very short lunch with me. He told me about his adventures and left. I drove home and tried not to laugh my @$$ off after I realized what went down.
I'm sorry....so sorry....crap....
This ex is a Facebook friend.
- He goes hiking...cool!
- He goes scuba diving....super cool!
How do I know this? Well, whenever he "likes" a page it comes across my feed.
Sometimes between the time I last logged in and now, he liked "skydiving".
Okay, now I'm getting a bit scared for him.
I'm seriously thinking about hiding his status feed before I start seeing him "like" pages such as
"Race Car Driving"
"Yacht Racing"
"Ice Climbing"
"Pissing off Red-headed Irish ex-girlfriends"
"Role playing as a Fender jazz bass (being slapped silly)"
"Conjuring Demons for Fun"
"Sleeping with starving wildebeests"
"Let's all Rub our bodies with Raw Meat and Go on an African Safari"
"Naked Bull Riding"
"Running with the Bulls - Naked..... with a very Red Sunburn"
"Bathing in vats of Hot Acid wearing only a hair net"
or something equally freaky and dangerous.
If this man has a death wish, I don't want to know about it.
Sure, I love him....but....if I worry about him, I'll send negative energy his way.
So, if you are the dude of concern, I am going to ask you to imagine yourself going home in health and peace before embarking on anything remotely risky. See yourself safe. Don't think about your lungs exploding or any other violent imagery you want to share with your squeamish ex.
Oh, and, if you find yourself in a room with fifty horny twenty-year-olds....imagine yourself as unstoppable and enjoy it!
I don't want to know about it.
I'm going to avoid Facebook for awhile.
Love ya...
S.
P.S. I just realized why I have so many nightmares about you. You're a Scorpio. It all makes sense now.
Edit 9/12/10 - Okay, so I hid his feed so I wouldn't worry anymore. I tried to imagine visiting him when he is in his nineties thinking that, on some very stupid level, that this would tempt fate into letting him live longer.
So...all was well until I caught the news and saw a horrid fire in the county where I last heard he lived.
I spent one entire night lighting white candles and doing hyper-religious things that I probably shouldn't discuss hoping that things would take care of themselves with a minimum loss of life.
The next day I realized I was being incredibly stupid, so I checked my old friend's Facebook page to make sure no one was freaking out, offering condolences, or planning his funeral.
Thankfully, no that didn't happen. He did not appear to be impacted by the fire.
Whew...
but...
there was a tiny reference to an injury....a severe injury...an injury that that could occur in a horrid car crash. The same injury could also occur from a skydiving accident.
I felt horrid that I hadn't started praying for him sooner. I couldn't because I hid his feed and didn't know what had happened.
I un-hid his feed.
You know, I'm just going to pray he gets married off to the girl of his dreams. That is one sure fire way to keep men in line. Just try risky behavior without proper preparation as a married man; it isn't going to happen very easily. Your wife will sulk, she'll cry and he'll be too much a kind hearted soul to scare the crap out of the woman he loves.
See? It's all good when no one gets hurt.
If I knew many nice girls, I'd set him up with someone. I tend to hang out with politicians, and while most of them are good at screwing, I'm going to make a bet that it isn't in the way in which my dear friend likes.
But then, he lives in a blue state...maybe he's into that kind of thing.
Love ya dearly,
S.
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