I am Only a Cougar cuz of Washington State

I'm going to scream. At some point it is disturbing when a twenty something approaches me to ask my age, ask me out, or compliment my physique.

Over the years, I've developed strategies for scaring them away. One kid mentioned that he was a big fan of AC/DC, so I mentioned that I graduated high school the year that 'Highway to Hell' was released. I told another that I had a daughter his age.

Once I had a kid ask if I was a vampire because he pegged my age thirteen years younger than I truly am and I said...'why yes I am'.

He must think I'm insane.

Look....

I'm not Mrs. Robinson.

I am not Maggie May.

And I am definetly not Stacy's Mom.

Stop it...

I'm not a cougar....well, I am because of my alma matter but that's it!

Let me give you a better picture of me...

Seriously, the skin on my face is held in place with clothes pins on the back of my head.

Yep...I'm old enough to remember what clothes pins are!

And, I was raised by people who survived the great depression.

Yep...and I'm listening to an old LP of Duran Duran, when they were dressing up like David Bowie and wearing make-up. You know those things DJs scratch? Well, back in the day, we actually were careful not to scratch them because it took a day's salary to buy one.

Do DJs still scratch records? or have they moved on to something else by now?

You see...

I'm old....

super duper old....

I'm saggy...

and baggy...

and not a lot of fun.

But I like your moxy kid,

so I'm going to give you a bit of advice.

If you want to learn something new,

get a book or some porn and a tight young thing!

There are some great things you can do with erotic hypnosis.

You'll never get bored. You'll never disappoint, and if you're lucky, you'll have someone that can grow with you over the course of many years...

and you won't creep yourself out by the horrors of the aged female body.

Goodness....

Usually, a smile will reveal my wrinkles and the youngsters will run away...but once in awhile, that trick doesn't work.

Sigh...

Seriously, I don't get what young men see in forty year old women.