I SEE you

I figured out who my stalker is...

or should I say who THEY are.

They are the same people who have been stalking me for awhile.

Damn....

These are the people who stalked me in '92 with their incessant phone calls claiming that they witnessed me walk into my apartment with strange men and wanting to talk with them.

I wasn't even dating my estranged spouse at the time. We were just friends -but-they seemed awfully interested in my whereabouts all of the time.

The callers usually resided in a town an hour away from where I was.

I doubt they were just in the neighborhood.

Whenever I find a job, they call or visit me at work. They are known for contacting co-workers and bosses to badmouth me.

They did the same to my academic advisor in my Graduate Program.

They harassed one of my landlords. They told their bill collectors that I was married to males in their family (I wasn't) and those bill collectors began harrassing me. They sent me unwanted cards and letters. When I confronted them, they thought it was funny.

I didn't.

I have memories of two of them, who worked for a security firm, driving by my home several times during the day. There was no reason for them to do that.

They have a talent for getting third parties to either threaten me, harass me, or chastise me for not doing their bidding. I used to get calls all the time from people upset that I didn't do something that these people thought I should do (e.g. like clean an elderly woman's home, or told I hypnotized their children to hate them....it was always stupid crap). When I explained the truth of the situation, the calls stopped.

In '98, I had a neighbor point a gun in my window. The police came out and asked them why he did that and he stated that 'my sister' claimed I was taking notes on their family so I could turn them over to some sort of government entity. He described a female relative of Mike's and when confronted, she admitted to threatening my neighbor. Apparently, Mike had given her keys to the house when we were away and she spent that week menacing the renter next door.

She also had to call me to tell me that she went to my school to tell everyone what a horrible person I was and, you know, that act still haunts me to this very day. I had two professors beg me to file for a divorce because they were sure that my husband was stalking me. I didn't realize it was him at the time; I just thought his family was insane.

I know who my stalker is....I know who has been recruited to do the dirty work. Even the crap that Tax Audit Boss spewed about me in documents and in court mirrored the same things that these people say about me all the time.

They say that 90% of the time, a woman has been intimate with her stalker. I think this is the case. His family has been given me fits since 1992!

These people have been a handful.

I recently went to a funeral and the lot of them sat there glaring at me. One of them told me that she saw my name on the door of the place where I work.

That was before the weird stuff began happening.

A week later, I went out for breakfast with a male mentor who expressed concern that that I was being stalked. The man had me sit there for several hours and, you know, the person he thought was following me did not leave until I did.

Then, two weeks ago, I went out for lunch with an old boyfriend and this strange man approached me after my friend and I parted. This same man is now menacing people who work near me and quizzed one woman about me. I know it is the same guy because he has a very unique body size.

The police told me to simply avoid him, which is hard because he's coming to the place where I work. Now, I'm terrified and taking the advice of people who tell me to document everything.

I was always afraid to leave the house because it seems like chaos ensues whenever I leave. Now, I'm terrified to go to work. That was my safe place. The only place I felt human. It pains me to think I have to give that up.

Whenever I try to do anything outside of the home, Mike's family does something to scare me. They harass neighbors, co-workers, teachers, bosses, landlords and now they're bugging people who lease office space next to me.

I'm wondering if I should stay with Mike so he calls off his dogs.

This is scary.

I'm posting this in case something happens to me. My family knows the extent of the harassment, there is so much to tell because they've done so much over the years. Mike has even menaced me in public. The past year, I took voice lessons so I could intimidate him; one can really bellow when she takes a deep belly breath before screaming. I think he may be afraid of me now. He hasn't scared the piss out of me since last April.

I wish the Aurora HR Manager would understand why I want a policy to stop supervisors from gossiping about the wives of supposedly abusive spouses and to call the police at the suspicion that a violent crime had taken place. And NOT to bring it up to the abuser or take action and blame it on the wife. The Supervisor does not know what happened, she's not a judge nor a jury. She's his boss. That's it, end of story.

She can fire him because he didn't cross an 'T' or dot an 'I'....don't fire him because of gossip that I fake heart attacks, have a degree, and in the opinion of a T & A Supervisor needs to get a job. The HR Manager really ought to read those court transcripts. I had nothing to do with it.

Those statements have caused me a lot of pain. And, by the way, I have never met anyone my former spouse worked with....ever.

What the Tax Supervisor said happened did not happen....but....it appears that she got sucked into his family's verbal and emotional abuse of me. I'm still quite angry about it. This was unjust and anger is the normal reaction to unjust behavior on the part of someone who should know better. The problem, though, is that those injustices keep on coming.

Consider what she did wrong...she fined my family (put me under considerable financial stress), blamed me for HIS job loss (read the court transcripts), gave him permission to stalk me (again read the transcripts), city lawyers defending her behavior threatened me, harassed me over the phone and in person. This is not to mention the freaky deal with the cops showing up at 2:00 am on the day I get a letter about the HR lawyer from the Supreme Court.

The HR dept needs to fix it. The city has a police force. There is no excuse for not following up and behaving in ways that amp up a violent situation. This is also not to mention the behavior of the your staff when I inquired about what was stated about me in the HR file, what was written about me online by people claiming an affiliation to the HR department, nor does it explain the HR Manager's behavior while corresponding with me.

Even though the things uttered by the supervisor mirrored my In-Laws' gossip, the supervisor did embellish the lies. The embellishments are probably projection on her part (so again, I want you to consider reminding her about the EAP because I suspect she has a victim issue in her past that is cropping up due to whatever Mike or his family told her).

I'll forgive the city once that policy is in place. That is what I wanted in the first place. It is the correspondence with the city and its officials, in addition to those slanderous online posts, that alerted me to the inappropriate and libelous information in the unemployment file.

Again...heed this warning. If I die or get hurt...the city will be sued. My family promised to sue the city and any individuals involved in the harassment and defamation of me. It sounds like you guys got caught up in an abusive man's trap. Make sure it never, ever happens again.

Everything is documented in exceeding detail. Whatever problem I had with Mike, I was safely walking on eggshells. The city blamed me for their bullying behavior which ultimately turned out to be illegal and harmful to Mike. The truth is that I don't feel safe anymore but in this economic climate, I really can't do anything about it without a lot of money and safety planning.

The money has been harder to replace since he lost his job. To be quite blunt about it, the money will not come if I lose my office space due to the harassment of other tenants by members of his family.

I pray that the city never pulls this crap with a spouse of an employee ever again.

I'm terrified.


Love ya,

S.