Grandma's book of shadows

A little garlic
A little piece of flannel
A little yarrow
Some yellow string
and right back to you your trouble will swing


Next time she threatens me....I'll get busy.

I pray this moronic city official does it on a Saturday.


Love,

S. 

Now, Now, Now

To my bully:

I got your message.  That was stupid my friend.  I know who you are now. 

Why would you risk a defamation lawsuit like that?  

Play nice...

but


since you asked....I was asked to do what I'm doing by a group of people in another party (mine went along for the ride).  I was asked to speak to certain issues, to refrain from posting anything about you (because it makes the other party look bad) and gather information from the public for the person who is most likely to win.

If I wanted to hurt you...I would have gone to the press.  I didn't.  I'm trying to gather proof and share it with the others in charge to keep this stuff out of the press.  I know things that will blow your mind.

Trust me, I have no intention of winning, only getting information for the person who does. As you are no doubt aware, this is the absolute last thing I ever wanted to do with my life and I've been trying to find someone else to take my place.   I spent the past four hours arguing with another member of my party about my lack of desire to complete this task on my own. 

You, my friend, inspired me to stop doing that and stay put.

Sadly, the more I'm threatened, the more my ego wants me to stay put and fight.  The more I feel threatened, the more I wonder who is threatening you and making you do the bizarre things you've done for the past few years.   I know that my bully is probably bullied. 

Things are not what they seem my friend.

I have a letter into the DOL. I'm going to try to stop other people from being abused.

I'll visit with a union in the next week.   

I am working to get rid of the quota system.

I'm also trying to find case law that supports what your employer is asking you do to with regard to political issues. Although I fight against most things you and your coworkers want, it is unsportsmanlike for me to allow the competition to silence its supporters in an illegal manner. I want a vigerous debate, not a dead one.

What I am doing is for your benefit. I am convinced it will save your job in the long run.

Love ya,

Siegfred

P.S. I tracked your IP. I know where you are, who your ISP is and I haven't gotten around to tracking your email yet.

You'd be surprised what I learn about people online. 

The email address led me to a nice gentlemen in Mountain View, California. 

Your ex-lover perhaps?  Tsk...tsk...

Wow, I have your cross streets!  Let me visit another cyberstalking site and confirm what I know. 

Be good.  I caught ya!  Don't make me take your crap to the lawyers.  I'm trying to save your job and you're trying to get yourself fired. 

What the heck are you doing? 

Stop!!

Decisions...Desicions...

Decision of the day...

• Get out of the Race - Blog - and Go to the Press  
• Stay in the Race- Blog - Have Everyone Else Go to The Press 

I told the people at the city that if they violated the law again and if they hurt another family in the same manner that they hurt mine by levying an illegal fine, that I would get out my loudspeaker. 

Last week, they invited me to a meeting.  In this meeting they paraded around the fact that they abused another family like they did mine. 

Same words - Same Threats - Nearly the Same Darn Acusations. 

 The only difference this time, is they are violating a man's first amendment rights.  Government employers can't do that.  They can't tell a person what he or she can say during private time away from work.   Private employers can.  Governments cannot. 

Heck the politicians do that all the time and they use taxpayer money!!   I've tried to file complaints with the secretary of state over that; it doesn't go anywhere.  I've never complained about employees talking about their stuff in private without spending taxpayer money. 


I think they have it backwards. 

Oh, and the man they fined was also over forty years old and had twenty years in with the city.  Looks like ageism to me.

What to do....

what to do....

I'm so sickened by their behavior, I have actually thrown up.  I'm not kidding.  I had to leave the meeting because it made me sick to my stomach they way they were emotionally abusing their employee. 

Why in the heck don't these people use the EAP?  Geez...you make up crap about a guy, say he has an issue with his attitude and fine him several hundred bucks in cash. 

That sounds awfully familiar. 

Where have I seen that before? 

Ah, I know!!!  It's contained within a bunch of papers I'm printing off to send to Federal lawmakers to make you people follow the law. 

I've written, yet again, to state lawmakers.  They probably won't do anything. 

I'll go to the unions.  The unions will probably get more done than any politician ever could. 

No matter what I choose to do, it'll be a black eye for the people breaking the law. I'll see their red faces in the papers soon enough. 

Be good. 

Cheers,

S.

P.S.  Tell your lawyers that they will automatically lose the moment they purport to read another human being's mind.  Trust me on that...

P.S.S.  Stop fining people illegally!!  Where the heck did you get your law and social science degrees?   Y'all must've been the bottom of your respective classes. 

P.S.S.S.  I am anxiously awaiting a threat letter from the people in charge.  It will be proudly posted online.

Oh, and I'm no longer going to keep my promise.

If you're good, I have no reason to fight ya. 

If you're bad...

well.....

Drama Drama

So, if you read my blogs you know that my family was stalked heavily between August of '08 and November of '10 by someone giving the appearance of working for the city.  

We got some weird phone calls.

We had one death threat.

I had one person put my name on forums and who let me know in no uncertain terms that s(he) knew where I lived, what I do, and who I hang out with.

The cops came to our house at 2:00 am due to false 911 calls.  I learned that the person I suspect of doing the stalking was dating a cop at the time.  I still have respect for our officers.

Between that period of time, it was not an uncommon sight to see city cars hanging outside my home.  I have the photos somewhere in a zip drive at work.

I was told to get a business license for my hobbies and had city code misquoted to me by the head of the tax department.  It's obvious who has been bugging me.  I suspect that it is my ex's former supervisor.

Now, there was another stalker in the city where I work some 20 miles away.  The officers know who he is and it is highly doubtful that his stuff is related to anything going on at the city.  He scared the crap out of me in January.  Then he hassled an elderly woman who rents in my office building.  I called the police and let them know.  I have never heard a peep out that guy again.

Then, I have the run of the mill stalker guys who send me creepy emails and have hunted down my home address and phone number.  They send me things I don't want.  Thankfully these guys are mostly harmless. 

This isn't uncommon when one works with the public.

The city stalker though seems more frightening than the others.  That person knows where I live.  Leaves bizarre comments about me in public venues (mostly forums), sets up filthy accounts under my name, and seems to know rather odd things about me (some true and some not).  I'm pretty sure I know who she is.

Now, I'm becoming a little annoyed by the information I'm getting third hand from people employed by the city to defend the person I think was stalking us.  The new information does border on creepy. 

Two days ago, the message went like this...

You must waive your right to sue us for any possible retaliation or defamation and maintain our client's confidentiality in blogs and on forums or she [they named the person I suspect] will retaliate and defame people you know and make it hard for members of your family to hold a job.

So...are you telling me that the city is admitting to the retaliation and defamation? 

Why would we waive our rights to sue with what you just said?

I already know which city employee did that because I've been getting calls from concerned former employees who think I'm being beat half to death.   I know she made it hard for my ex to get a job because once I explained to people that there is no truth to what they heard from the city employee, he got an interview offer from an employer who rejected him after getting a reference from his former supervisor.  For the first time in over 2.5 years, my ex will have an interview. If he gets the job, I'll be relieved.

Although I just heard about some of it for the first time over the weekend, it appears that the defamation has been going on for a long, long time.

Truth be told, I'm worried about that city employee - if she is talking about such violent things and seeing me as a victim, she may be projecting her experiences towards me.  I wonder if these horrid things aren't happening to her.  Is there any way one can put a stack of EAP phamplets on her desk?

I do pray for her but my prayers haven't been answered.  The day God answers them, she'll leave the city for a better job somewhere else and we'll get someone who is better at her job.

Today, the message relayed to me was worse.  I'll put it online in this blog so my family can see it - just in case something happens to me. 

I was told that if I have been harassed or stalked by a city employee it is not because of the employee who is defaming and retaliating against my ex and I for speaking out.  It is because of my politics. 

Are you telling me that the city is behind the harassment and stalking that began 2.5 years before I volunteered in politics?   


Or, are they telling me that they are gearing up to harass and stalk us again?

And I thought I was doing this to help members and supporters of current lawmakers....geeesh!  Do they know you're threatening me?  If so, I can always do a 180.  I'm in the middle and can go either way. 

They should be mindful of what they say.  I understand veiled threats all too well.  

I was also warned to 'let sleeping dogs lie.'  I don't know what to say about that one.  Am I supposed to stop talking to state lawmakers about forcing governments to comply with laws that will save my bully's job? 

She should not want me to let sleeping dogs lie. 

I am trying to do the right thing.  The rule changes I want to put into place will protect her. 

• Rumor has it that I'm right about her victimhood - I'd like a policy to keep that confidential so people like me never find out about things like that and it doesn't harm her reputation or ability to flee such a situation.  It is the right thing to do.
• I also want them to stop breaking Federal Wage law.  I understood she paid a $400 fine for laptop repair.  That is an illegal fine as per federal wage law.  Did she not know that?  
• I want to remove the quota system that was put into place in '08.  I saw her numbers.  She bullied the most respected employees from her department and replaced them with newbies.  For three years she's been behind the 8-ball.  My first thought upon reviewing the budget was that she may lose her job based on the failure to meet an unethical quota system.  Now, if we get rid of the quota system, it may buy her (and her boss) some time and keep small businesses from being harassed. 
• Then there is that little business of her coworkers telling everyone about an incident that impacted her health (I think it was in the fall of '10).  Someone called my house and told us.  Seriously, I've been whining about the ADA and the need for confidentiality.  Does she not know following ADA guidelines will protect her, too?

I have no intention of letting sleeping dogs lie.  The problem with bullies is that the unethical crap they do eventually comes back to haunt them.   If she continues to harass me, she's only kicking herself in the butt.

She needs to stop harassing me and let me get back to work.  She needs to leave my ex alone so he can get a job and let me get this done without interference.  The intention is not to annoy her but to prevent what happened to our family from happening to anyone else - and this includes my bully.

I play fair.

Bad city policies hurt a lot of people.  They make activists like me.  Don't make this activist stronger by threatening her. 

Chill Out!

If she threatens us again the city will be facing a lawsuit.  I'll ask for money damages and an injunction.  I already have a lawyer.  It's not worth it.

Stop lying and posturing.  Start cooperating.  Heck, if you want to team up, let me do the research and take credit for getting it done, I don't care.  I just want the policy shifted to protect everyone else - I don't care who gets the credit.  I just want it put into place now because, quite frankly, I'm embarrassed by the antics of a few in my local government. 

Love ya,

 S.

Get a glimpse of Weiner's Pussy

The cats are the best part of the picture!

Well, maybe not...the fact he is wearing pants is probably the best part of the picture.

Love ya,

S.

Redhead Seeing Red

Well....

For all intents and purposes, my marriage ended three years ago; we hadn't spent a day apart since Jan. '92. 

I blame a poor economy, a bad city government, and an abusive woman heading for a meeting with Nemisis.

My ex worked for the government for the city in which I play politics.   He had two bosses.  The one he worked beneath would punish him based on the things the other boss said.  That second boss was abusive.  Working in a hostile work environment, he got depressed and stopped talking to me.   He has gained over 100 pounds since being fired. 

The city started harassing us.  He was badmouthed to the point he couldn't get a job.  Stupid Seigfried, knowing that her hubby was in an occupation in finance and needed a clean credit score, let her hubby run up her credit cards in his bid to find another job. 

His abusive boss made up crap about Siegfred in the unemployment hearing and blamed her for getting her ex fired.  That only made his inability to speak to his wife more pronounced.  He also was so emotional he couldn't defend himself in the unemployment hearing - he lost and the family lost out on income based on the lies of his former boss.

Siegfried has the court transcripts*, that is how she knows every single lie that was said in that hearing and who said them.

.

The problem now is that can't afford to leave her home.  He can't pay her back.  She can't make enough money to pay him alimony (as he is not working a real job).  She can't legalize the separation because he isn't working.  She can't afford to repair her car or her home.  She's been uninsured for nearly three years.  She had to close out her business due to a lack of available credit and the threat of harassment directly from her ex's former boss and his former HR manager. 

She's trying to be creative.  Sadly, she's screwed. 

Three years later, she can't get her ex out of his funk.  This is not good for the family. 


Right before he was fired for not meeting an illegal quota, he was fined $500 by our local government as his boss said

• he had a book on his desk,
• he was using the internet inappropriately,
• and despite having a sleep disability that his boss documented, he was said to have fallen asleep on the job numerous times.  

He paid the fine in cash as his boss directed. The attorney representing the city showed me a series of emails, one of which stated that this boss directed him to leave the office and retrieve my money and return within a few hours.   In my mind this is illegal taxation and the city owes me $500 plus interest.

Yes, it was illegal for the city to levy this fine.   Worse, the city is supposed to tell taxpayers where the money goes - they refuse to tell us what happened to our $500. 

His former abusive boss later said in a transcripted hearing that she had no proof that there was a book on his desk or that he ever used the internet inappropriately*.

Today I met with people he used to work with, including his former supervisor (not the abusive one)and ...get this...that HIS FORMER SUPERVISOR NEVER CAUGHT HIM SLEEPING ON THE JOB DESPITE WHAT THAT FINE PAPERWORK* SAID!!  The supervisor claimed that she was directed to fine him by the HR department.  I was informed that the woman who slandered me would run around telling everyone my ex was sleeping on the job and when people went to check on him they always found him doing his work!!!     

I also learned she was defaming us for a couple of years, claiming that I was abused and describing me as someone with PTSD.  She claimed my ex had the equivalent of a rage disorder and liked to toss me around.   I'm not joking....the lawyers repeated her crap as truth in civil proceedings yet never once alerted the victim's advocates or police to the crimes this woman claimed I endured.  I've got plans to prevent this from happening again.  

The city lawyers made fun of my disability and they repeated the lies the bully told even after I informed them that it wasn't the truth!  That really frustrates me!

Let me repeat.  My ex never fell asleep at work.  I have proof.  I am pissed beyond belief.

The city human resource office fined my family $500 over a woman's lies!  They defamed us based on the stories of someone behaving like a freakin' psychopath.  They would give out bad references based on her lies.  They made us pay back the unemployment he collected based on her lies.  They refused him volunteer opportunities based on her lies.  They told someone who confronted me at a political function because of her lies.  They wouldn't let me talk to civil servants save for the HR director for any reason.  This woman and her boss lied to me about city code in an attempt to get my personal information, SSN, and other things.

They send the PD to my house at 2:00 am when I complained.  I learned that the lady who defamed us was dating an officer who could pull that off. 

They traumatized four children in my house because a liar had a relationship with a cop? 

How in the heck does something like this happen?

I have a plan. 

First off, I am filing a complaint with the State CPA regulatory body for a violation of the code of ethics which forbids quotas in his former occupation.   I may also complain about the wrong code she sent me in an attempt to force me to purchase business licenses for my hobbies.





I am prepared to use my political connections to speak to the union heads.   may be conservative but if ithere is one place a union is necessary.  It is here.  I vow to do everything in my power to bring a union into this town.  If the HR doesn't like it, then they can put the rule changes in place I asked for THREE YEARS AGO!   I will be more than happy to pour through the 1,000+ pages I've collected about city policies and share them with union heads.

Enough is enough!!  

And, I may need to sue to recoup the economic losses I've endured due to the lying, stalking, and abuse of my civil rights. 

The retaliation suit is for stalking me, lying about me, and threatening my business.   I am toying with the idea of suing the one who violated my civil rights by making me a persona non grata; he refused to let anyone talk to me about anything pertaining to city life.  That makes me taxed without representation.

Defamation is for the things I've read about myself online, things that city lawyers have said about me and things five of her former co-workers said she said about my family on numerous occasions.  I probably won't be able to sue for the lies she told in hearings but I can use those to show that she is less than honest.  Some of the stuff I heard today is new, some of it echoes things I'd been told before.  I never met the abusive boss, there is no way she could ever claim to know such intimate details about my life.   

I would highly recommend her bosses tell me how they are going to prevent this from happening again and that they do it within ten days.

In the meantime, I'm going to talk to my ex about the possibility of filing a defamation lawsuit of his own.  If he sues, I won't.  If the city contacts changes their policies to forbid violations of Federal Wage Law and protect battered women before served with paperwork, I may reconsider.  They ought to know I'm serious. 


I have a lawyer who offered to take my case, I'd prefer my ex sue you.  We have one year from the date I heard the latest gossip.  Today I heard more. 

Why in the heck would the HR manager allow employees to do such a thing to a taxpayer? 

I see little recourse.  I tried to warn you. 

Idiots!

Can you say UNCLE? 

You will...

S.

*I have a scanner and can post everything online if I feel it will make change happen sooner. 

.

Slick Cowboy Government Attorneys

A Libertarian is a conservative who was mugged by the government. ~ anonymous

I have a government bully. She slanders. I think she stalks me based on things other people say (hence this blog and three others). She taxed my family several hundred dollars over a lie. She slandered my ex, he was blackballed and can't get a job because of it.

He won't talk to me anymore. He can't afford to divorce me so I'm stuck trying to fix the problem. Don't ask me how my heart feels about three years of loneliness because of some moron's lies and harassment. Without a marriage taking up all my time, I have plenty of time to play community activist.

The sick thing is that other people protect the bully. Her behavior has cost me over $65,500 in damages (not lost income but actual damages). If one were to calculate lost income w/ damages it would come to nearly $300,000.

The bully has no clue that her 'protectors' are sharing sensitive data about her with complete strangers. One of whom called me to tell me about it. I was nice and didn't divulge it to a company hired lawyer who was harassing me; the lawyer wouldn't promise to keep our conversation confidential, so I stayed mum.

I have ethics. It would be hypocritical to commit the same sin as she. The truth of the matter is that other people are violating her rights under federal law. She should document it and if they let her go, she's got 180 days to do something about it.

Today I learned that the company hired lawyer is trying a legal maneuver that will prevent me from suing her personally, suing her boss, and suing the people protecting her.

It won't work. They violated my civil rights on numerous occasions. All I have to do is find a zip drive that I left in an office on the other side of town and they are toast.

I've planned very carefully for the past three years. I have people poised to act. They broke many laws and it is hurting a lot of people, some of whom I've yet to meet.

If someone hits me with a big stick, I will do everything in my power to break that stick so no one else gets hurt.

Last week, I caught them in a lie. They destroyed evidence and that act may very well bankrupt me. I am more motivated to sue than ever before.

Don't make me do that. I hate courts. I don't like the smell of galangal.

I'm not the kind of person she wants to annoy because I will make her and her cohorts famous. I save everything, every picture, every recording, every email. Don't play with a redheaded woman who has OCD; don't send her weird messages telling her that she can't ask questions or communicate with any person who works in the local government (especially if she is running for mayor). Don't write to say she has to buy a business license in order to exercise her first amendment rights (especially if her business is in a city 45 miles away). Don't write to say she has PTSD. Don't lie about her relationship in court where there is a transcriptionist. Don't blame her for your decision to fire an employee you believe is hell bent on violence towards her. Don't write that she is obese, ugly, and old in online forums. Leave her alone because if she's thinking of you, she's probably scheming.

It is best to stay out of her sight and out of her mind.

I won't stop fighting for that policy shift; the aim is to take away the tools you used to destroy my family, my finances, my business, and my faith in the local government.

If I have to go to the state level, I will. Watch me!

I can easily circumvent the local circus but I'll need to pay the debt I incurred as a result of the defamation. That means that I may have to sue.

I've got the best team assembled to do justice. I've got a plan that those lawyers cannot play with no matter how slick they think they are.

You and your affiliates broke the law numerous times. You and your affiliates violated my civil rights numerous times. Your boss messed with my business. The person protecting you wouldn't allow me to ask questions about the law so I had my activist buddies do it for me. That alone has cost your employer dearly.

When will you learn?

It's already cost your employer millions of dollars in revenue. I research, scheme and fight unfair laws as a means to work off my disgust. I'm not done yet. I don't trust you anymore. You lie. Your lawyers play dirty pool. I can prove it.

Leave me alone, change your policies, or I will sue. Stop messing with me and maybe I'll find some other way to occupy my time outside of fighting injustice.

It hasn't been a year yet since I learned of the most recent defamation and it was spouted off again just a few weeks ago. And, sweetheart, the supreme court has ruled that third parties can sue for retaliation despite what any high priced lawyer says.

I am a citizen of this particular government. I pay taxes, so, it is my business.

I am, if anything, fair. You lawyer wanted to know if I ever wanted to say anything to you if I got the chance. Well, I would tell you this....take heed, play fair, document everything and consider getting an employment lawyer. If you play fair, you will find people who will testify on your behalf. Discrimination and wrongful termination are actually quite common where you are. I was shocked.

If you are keeping tabs on me online, you are well aware that I do research the topic of employer bullying due to the crud you and your employer put me through. People who worked with your employer say that the HR is known to bring a transfer employee in to spy on people they want to terminate. I was told that they dig up personal dirt and twist it so that they can fire people.

The system is sick, I just don't know how much of that was your doing or if the lawyers forced you to bully my ex and retaliate against me for bringing it to the attention of council.

Nice try...but seriously, stop it now and start helping me find a solution before the crap you, the lawyers and the lawmakers pull gets someone killed or bankrupts another family or small business owner. Let's put rules into place and stop this nonsense now.

No one is in the clear until I get a letter taking back everything that was said and the policy shifts so those dirty tricks (e.g. illegal fines/taxes, illegal quotas given on a discriminatory basis, accusations of a crime w/o reporting it to the police*, and gossip about medical conditions) cannot be used to terminate and blackball another employee ever again.

S.

*Last year, the federal government put rules into place mandating this with certain occupations. It is only matter of time before it applies to local municipalities.

Read about it here:

http://www.undercoverlawyer.com/new-legal-rights-for-employees-of-nursing-homes/

Jeepers Creepers

I don't scare easily.

I grew up on the poor side of town. I was orphaned at fourteen. I lived in foster homes. I lived on the street. I was homeless for awhile. I was raped at seventeen. My rapist stalked me for two years.

Thinking married life would save me from the rapist/stalker, I married a 'nice man' who decided on our wedding day that the vows included the phrase 'to beat and kill'. It took 18 months to get away from that moron. Oh, and when he destroyed my vintage Peavey T-40 because I gave it more attention than I did him, there were a few local bass players ready and waiting to kick his pansy butt. The story has a happy ending, they found me another T-40; it was similar but it didn't have a 3 digit serial number like the one from my youth....sigh.

.

Then I played with the narcissistic ex hubby in a court of law that decided that restraining orders would infringe on my abuser's rights. Thank goodness for baseball bats.

.

I kept one in my car and another by my door. He only played with me once after our divorce. He tried to rape me in my car. Lucky for him, he only tried that once. Now he just makes eyes at me.

.

Anything that has happened since to me is laughable.

,

I once walked in on my sister's ex-con boyfriend beating her up. He came after me and I tore his clothes off, pushed him out a locked door and left him naked in a snowstorm two blocks from the cop shop. He was on probation. I got the last laugh.  

My sister was NOT amused.

I was...

.

Last summer, some moron threatened to beat me up because I wouldn't give him my parking space in downtown; he sped off when I growled 'bring it Bubba' as I smashed my hand down on the parking meter. I shattered an agate band I was wearing!

.

Do not piss off the redhead.

She is mean.

She is nasty.
Nothing scares her anymore.
.
Well, almost nothing....
.
I got an email today from a man who says he kisses the pictures on my website and smells my digital hair. He signed the email with with the same name used on an envelope sent to my home address last week. I never opened it as there was no return address and I didn't know the sender. I'm thinking it's the marriage counselor stalker dude. I'm getting freaked out now.

.
I guess it's time to buy a gun. Thank goodness my daddy taught me how to shoot.

.
Stay safe.
.
Love,
.
S.

Creepy Magical Oil to Get Men to Follow You

Okay...

I'm cheap.

I've always been cheap.

When I was a teenage mall rat, I realized that most of the older women who sold cosmetics behind the counter in the department stores were horribly wrinkled and had leathery skin. Upon visiting such counters and being told numerous times that they themselves used the $100 per ounce cosmetics they sold, I swore up and down that I would never be guilty of such a sin.

I began making my own.

Over the years, I've made tons of mistakes. I've burned holes in my face. I made myself bright orange. I've given myself rashes. I've actually sported purple hair.

Yes, I even make my own hair color (cinnamon, allspice and chocolate). It's funny, I've had complete strangers approach me in public, sniff my hair, and tell me that I smell like Christmas.

Making my own cosmetics is interesting and, you know, it's very easy to spot me with egg on my face.

Now, if only I could learn to tell a joke.

Over the years I've collected hundreds of pages of recipes. Long story short, my favorite recipes come from various pagan texts. If any group knows the value and use of weeds and herbs, the pagans do.

Whenever a friend has a baby with a rash, I whip up a batch of herbal oil with comfrey leaves, comfrey root, calendula, and lavender. It smells pretty good, cleans the skin and gets rid of rashes and acne. I throw in a bit of melted beeswax and it turns into a pretty decent skin cream.

The other day, I made a batch of herbal oil for a little one. I made 23 four ounce containers and that should last quite a while. I found myself with a liter of the herbal oil left.

So....I wondered if maybe I could make a more fun bath oil for myself. I hunted through my recipes and found a historical book filled with Voodoo recipes.

There was a recipe for Follow Me Boy Oil. Allegedly, the prostitutes in Haiti rub this all over their bodies to get more customers and to make men do their bidding.

I could feel an evil idea forming in my tired old brain.

I know a lot of stupid men who want to tax poor people out of existence, propose a lot of stupid laws, cheat on their wives, and one guy who wants to sell doctored up used cars to unsuspecting people. I reasoned that it might be worth my time to slather this stuff on my body and try to talk some sense into these dorkmuffins.

It was late. I wasn't thinking.

So, I gathered the herbs ...Calamus....Catnip...Damaina...Licorice...Vetiver.... and soaked them in the crock pot.

It had no smell. Hmmmm....I thought about it...and thought about it....and had a gross thought.

I have a vile of civet that I bought because a Wiccan told me that slathering it on my ex would make me want him and would keep me faithful. Things were going horribly and he liked how it smelled, so I splashed a ton of it on the poor guy.

It didn't work.

 

This is why we shouldn't mess with Wicca...especially if we don't know what we are doing. Yikes!

Standing at the counter, I decided that maybe I could go back to being with my ex if I used the civet. No, we don't talk. No, we don't....you know. We still share the same house. He still hangs in the basement. I have my room upstairs. I want to sell the house. He wants me to stay. Thank goodness he's easy going. How many men could put up with this situation for three years without going nuts?

He's a good man....he just doesn't like me.

Recently, I have noticed that he gets pissed when online stalkers send me unsolicited gifts, flowers and letters. One of these guys is starting to scare me a bit...ex has offered to confront him. That would probably make it worse because the scary guy is a marriage counselor. He'd read everything into anything said to him by my ex. It's best to leave the man alone with his fantasies, sell the house, change my last name and move.

I don't know....maybe my ex loves me....or maybe he just doesn't want to find my dead body and pay for my funeral. I don't know. I thought the civet was worth a try....staying would be cheaper. Besides if all men are devils, perhaps it would be wise to follow that old parable:

Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know.

It was late. I wasn't thinking. I threw the civet in.

Now the concoction smelled bad...

So, I added nutmeg and cinnamon. It smelled like cookies. I stopped for the night and let the mixture cook in the crock pot.

The next day I bottled it up and started to use it.

I swear it makes me smell like sausage. No wonder men follow women who wear it.

They want breakfast!

I think I'll go back to using the smell free mixture cuz I'm cold as ice, not a good cook, and don't want to make promises that I refuse to keep.

But, if you want to try to get men to follow you....have fun with the recipe.

Love ya,

S.

Baby Ointment

1 part St. John's Wort
2 part Calendula
1 part Comfrey leaf
1 part Comfrey root
1 part Plantain
Olive Oil
Beeswax
Vitamin E

1. Put dried herbs into a crock pot.

2. Cover the herbs with oil. Use enough oil to cover the herbs plus another inch of oil above the level of herbs.

3. Heat the herbs and oil over a low heat for several hours ( about 5 hours).

4. Cool

5. Strain with cheesecloth.

6. Add beeswax to the oil and heat it until all the wax is melted.

7. Blend in Vitamin E (snipping a capsule works).

8. Pour your salve into containers and label.

Follow Me Boy Oil!

Sweet Flag/Calamus

Catnip

Damiana

Licorice

Optional: Vetiver, Bergamot (can cause sun sensitivity...I don't like using it), Sweet Orange, Tuberose

Instructions:

1. Grind and powder the dried herbs

2. Cover with one or a combination of these oils: castor, sweet almond and apricot kernel. Castor emphasizes the commanding aspect whereas the other two are believed to bring about an aphrodisiac effect (given the nature of the men I want to compel to behave, I won't even risk the use those oils just in case there is something to this voodoo thing).

Have fun!