On Taxes, Stalkers, and Politicians

I realized that I shouldn't complain about having people come to me letting me know that someone in my profession 'took their money' and help them for next to nothing (or free).


I shouldn't complain about people who are unemployed asking for things for free either.

It is fairly fortunate to have a job that is so great that I'd pay to do it. Sadly, with the business and professional taxes out here, I really, really do pay for it....quite dearly!

And, the good Lord probably sends people like that to me to keep me too busy to deal with Mr. Negativity and his band of stalking zealots. He claims he doesn't know about the stalking, maybe he doesn't. It's hard to say. It's been going on 20 years!! Hello!!

Mike mentioned that it appears they someone who looks like his father, driving a car that looks like his parent's car, is hanging around the local elementary school when it lets out in the afternoon.

If that is not enough to do something, I don't know what is? He and his family need therapy. If they won't do therapy with him to get reintegrated in his life and continue with the stalking and threatening behavior, we need restraining orders!

On another note...the city actually surprised me today, too. Maybe, just maybe...I'll lighten up on them a bit.

Maybe...

I was informed that they didn't say anything bizarre about me recently. I'm soooo darn happy!!! I could kiss them.

I'd go away if they'd change their policy to protect abused women and not allow supervisors to gossip, lie and blame potentially battered spouses for job losses when they need to lighten their payroll. When you get rid of employees, think undotted 'i' or uncrossed 't'....not, your wife has a master's degree who unmotivates tax auditors, fakes heart attacks, and needs to get a job!

That remark about unmotivating a tax auditor really stings....I get paid between $150 - $300 an hour to motivate people (when I actually charge). Really? Me? A demotivator? Seriously? They have no clue what I've motivated people to do...well, maybe they do.

They challenged me to motivate everyone who came into my life....could I help it if most of them were anti-tax activists?

The universe sends me what I need.

I'll put the kidding aside to get back to the original issue. If they would clean up the mess their employee made and put rules into place that would make it harder for her or other bullies to pull that again, it would make me incredibly docile.

It would benefit them, too.

Think about it....instead of being a bullying organization that is going to be cited in research, they could be seen as a trendsetting leader.

I'm sure someone could arrange an award ceremony of some type as a PR stunt. Government officials like parchment and TV cameras.

At least, I think they do, especially during election season.

We could call the media. Think about a certain Mayoral candidate that very few people have heard about getting kudos from women's organizations.

Other people have even done the work for them. I have four outlines that other governmental entities use....all they have to do is let me know they've instituted the changes, show me the handbook to prove it and

poof...

I'll play less of a role in politics and focus on helping people who want to stop smoking and learn how to be ethical hypnotists....but they'd better hurry. I'm thinking about abandoning the business to take a more active role in local politics....soooo.....

What do you say?

I can either hypnotically influence smokers....... or voters.

It's the city HR manager's call.

Love ya,

S.

On Fainting, Asthma, Stalkers & A Cover-up

Last Wednesday, I passed out because of asthma.

It almost happened again today. I was standing by the mirror in the living room and couldn't breathe, I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror and my lips were blue. I swear my skin had a greenish cast to it and....I got dizzy. My eyes started to go...so everything could have looked bluish green.

I've had the flu for the past few days and am having trouble breathing...soo...I know what it is. I'm sure it's my asthma. I have never used my inhaler; it's like putting in contacts for the first time. It's contrary to one's natural tendencies.

Okay, I didn't pay attention when the doctor showed me how because I thought she misdiagnosed me. I was diagnosed with asthma in '04 after five years of passing out every time I hit the treadmill. I actually thought it was psychosomatic.

Also, if one passes out while running on a treadmill in a certain gym, wouldn't it stand to reason that avoiding those treadmills would solve the problem? It did for many years.

Oh well, I'll be better once I get over the flu.

On another note, I had to make some tough decisions today...it's going to upset a few people but I've got to start taking care of myself. Three hours of sleep a day isn't working well for me. I've caught the flu twice in six months!!!

****

Oh, and 90% of this blog is fictional; it's designed to give someone something to talk about so she leaves other people I adore alone.

Of course, If I'd just find the funds to divorce the problem then all the gossips who annoy me will just melt away. The one at the city...the one in Thornton...the jerks who take what he says, twist it and spout it off in court hearings, in the newspaper forums, or to anyone who will listen.

I'd really like to know who told the lady at the city that stuff she said about me. It may make me nicer because I can focus on the source, not the person that was used to emotionally abuse me ...hint...hint...

But...just so you know...the sis-in-law with the gun thingy....that's real. That may just save an officer a few hours. I'm scared of her. Her initials are the same as mine, if it helps.

I'm afraid I'm going to turn up cold. If I do, it will be easy to investigate. The phone is registered to a man with my last name and the first name of a pig whose best friend was a spider. They live on 83rd. The parents wouldn't shoot, the daughter once menaced a neighbor with a gun. These people have threatened me for years. There is a box with some threatening messages and nasty letters in the garage. It's a white shirt box on the East side of the garage by the canning jars.

I suspect that my in-laws may have called the lady who is lying about me at the city because her lies are very similar to theirs (there does appear to be a projection or two on her part....but the stories are fairly similiar). I have no proof of that. I do know, however, that they visited with my former coworkers and professors trying to spread their garbage. I wouldn't put them past it to do it again with people Mike knew.

Still....government officials who make nearly six figures should know better than to be used as a means to spread lies about a citizen for the benefit of an abusive family. An apology would do a world of good. A policy change will keep me from making everything public.

Don't ever let an employee do that ever again. Someone could get killed. It might not be the spouse. I can't believe your employee is so fearless as to lie about a complete stranger. What if I were mentally unstable? or a gun-owner? or suicidal and wanted to die by cop? What if she were accurate in her assertion that her employee were violent? Who exactly did she put in danger?

I can't believe your HR manager is ignoring me! He needs to read what she said in those documents and put two and two together.

She also should visit the EAP and talk about the person who threw her into a wall. Someone was thrown into a wall and...it was not me. When people lie like that it is usually a portrait of their own past. I'm sorry to have to say this so blatently...but it is what it is. If you care about this employee....Ask her!

Really ask her...if you do it with concern and in a safe environment, I bet you tears will form in her eyes.

*****

I'm thinking about moving my business. I love that office but...my in-laws found it, someone is following me when I go out with male colleagues or old friends, and the same person is running around calling me Satan. This is happened once before, too and it was with a group of people acting on behalf of my sister-in-law.

My in-laws and their friends rarely approach me. They usually approach third parties. That is what is happening now. The only time I was approached was when I parted from a friend and was waiting to cross the street. The man walked past and called me "Satan". A couple of weeks later, the same impossibly tall man was harassing other tenants in my office building, holding a picture of me, and wanting to know about my personal life.

Part of me is getting tired of cleaning up another person's bad work for next to nothing. I've probably said too much. I do too much work for free; which I guess is cool for being a demon and all...(just teasing).

And...the office reminds me of my high school sweetheart. I realized what that office was after I signed the lease. I'm sorry. If I worry about him, I send him negative energy...the best thing to do is to stop thinking....about him....like that...you know.

I'd move out of the city in which I live...but I've got to make sure I can find someone to take over my dastardly plan to educate the public as to the a couple of issues I've noticed in my research pertaining to the weirdness my ex and I endured.

Never, and I repeat, never....harass a complete stranger. You don't know what she's capable of doing. Seriously...this should be a given for anybody. Don't play with people because you might find someone willing to play a wilder version of the game with you.

Idiots.... I just wanted to know why they did what they did and I found [deleted - they don't need to know the hand I hold].

But, to tell the truth, I love it when karma actually works!

Love ya,

S.

Freaky Nightmares

I'm still having nightmares about my high school sweetheart. They've been coming and going for six years now.

I'm going on about three hours of sleep each day. Well, that's if I'm lucky.... I'd like to say that staying up late is making me more damn productive but my spelling, my grammer, and my writing is not very pretty at the moment. My creativity is non-existant.

I need to sleep.

I fell asleep about 5:00 this morning and dreamt of my old boyfriend, again. The dream sums up everything I'm trying to do very well...so I guess I'll share.

There I was, standing on the ground level of his house (as I imagine it would look), stuck in a corner trying to clean up a mess. The more I cleaned that mess, the more it stayed the same.

There were no cobwebs, only a stain. I kept scrubbing and cleaning to no avail.

My dream self was incredibly frustrated.

I looked around and saw him sleeping on the couch and I looked out the window and saw a beautiful woman waiting to come inside. I try to open the window but I couldn't do it.

She's so pretty.

I wonder if it would upset him more if I continued to stay and clean up the mess or if I should leave it up to them. If I stay, I may end up cleaning it or I will make it impossible for her to come into his life. If I leave, he won't have to deal with me, she can come into his life but that house will be tainted by that stupid stain.

So...I watch him sleep and wonder what is in his best interest. She's so pretty and she's alone. He's alone. It really would be best if I left.

So, I leave and explain to her what I'm doing. I'm going to leave a slight mess because I was a stupid kid and broke his heart. I apologize for forcing her to clean it up but I lack the ability to do so and if I stay too long, he'll never have a shot with her.

She smiles.

So, I leave.

Joyfully, I walk through an emerald forest and listen to the breeze sway in the trees. I smell the fresh scent in the air. I hear the animals moving around.

I turn around and....

there he is following me.

I wish I knew what to do. I care for him deeply but I don't know how else to clean up the mess I made at seventeen.

My ex-husband was destroyed by his high-school sweetheart. He'd fly into violent rages and call me her name before beating the crap out of me and sending me to the hospital.

Apparently, Renee looked just like me.

He hated women who had a name that started with R and swore to avoid them at all costs. So, when I fled, I changed my name to the most obnoxious name beginning with the letter R.

It is the name of a resort.

He hated high-school sweethearts, so can you guess what my last name was? It was the last thing he ever guessed.

The idea came to me when I visited a store that sold model trains at Cherry Creek Mall. We had the Rio Grande and Thomas the Tank Engine.

It took him eight years and a private investigator to find me. I'm such a witch but it worked. It was certainly cheaper than repairing broken windshields, broken windows and hospital visits.

The point is that I never want anyone else to have to clean up my mess like I tried to do with my ex-husband. I want to be honest and open but realize that I am very clammed up around my friend. I think it is because I don't want him to ever get hurt again...I'm afraid to get too close, for fear that we'll end up wounded again.

I have a friend who is trying to understand what happened between he and his high-school sweetheart. That man set me straight. I guess clamming up is the meanest thing I could do, even if I'm well-meaning. Sometimes it takes another man, complaining about a similiar situation, to get me to see how stupid I am.


I wish I knew what to do.

Do I run away or do I stay and scrub?

Help??

The most painful things - hugs and giraffes

So, I've had two relationships since that day in '87 when I realized that Tom and I were never going to be together. I tried to move on.

Here is the weird thing...when each of these men got stupid, Tom was there.

The first one stalked me, tried to kill me, and put me in the hospital numerous times. That was unwelcome...that was stalking...that was creepy.

I don't know if he told the truth about an encounter Tom allegedly had with him. I don't know, I wasn't there. Still, I took drastic measures to hide...

I changed my name, my hair, my face and...you know...I even changed my eye color with hypnosis. They used to be dark brown. Now they're emerald green.

My first husband thinks I married my high school sweetheart. I don't argue anymore, whatever makes him think he was the victim in our relationship is a-okay by me because it means he'll stay far away from me.

He's the kind of man that I can love at a distance...the farther the better.

The second one lets his family stalk me for him. He claims not to be aware of it -but- he must know. It's been going on for 20 years now...it hurts.

Oh, and he used to call me Mrs. [Tom's last name] and claimed that it was due to my career [a famous hypnotist shares my first love's name]. He calls me that because he used to hear me talk in my sleep when we shared a room.

He recently told me he was jealous of Tom because he has my loyalty. If his cousins or old friends from high school speak ill of my old flame, I get upset and defend him. Tom never beat me, stole from me, punched holes in the walls of my home, or stalked me.

God always brings Tom into my life right before all hell breaks lose.

When I promised myself that I would never allow myself to care for anyone anymore, he arrives.

Why?

This hurts.

And that damn giraffe...the one he gave me in Feb. '87 turned up on the floor again. That sucker is a memory trigger...I remember...I don't really want to...

it hurts to know I was so stupid and I caused so much pain to one I care for so deeply.

The point of this is that the people who are stalking me know their contact is unwanted. One was served with a restraining order in '91, the other trio of troublemakers received a no-contact letter co-authored by my lawyer after threatening to attack one of my friends from high school way back in '01.
.

Restraining orders and no-contact orders do not do a lick of good. On the other hand, telling stalkers that you can hypnotize them into telling the truth in front of a police officer is highly effective. Since doing that, the trio of troublemaking stalkers related to Mike never confront me, only the people around me.

That is, until the day I went out to lunch with Tom. I was confronted by someone I think was spying on us. I don't know what they'd think they'd see....stupid people. If they are that in need of a show, they need to rent some porn - Geez! They've stalked me so much over the years, they ought to know I'm as celibate as a Mennonite school girl living by herself on a deserted island somewhere.

They went too far when they had their friend start harassing my associates. I'm the last person they want to piss off right now.

Anyway....

Tom, dear friend, you are welcome into my life. I just don't want to fill your beautiful brain with my sadness and pain and it's more fun to hear your voice than my own. I trust you completely, I just don't want to waste those few precious moments I spend with you talking about my boring life.

Stop hiding in the shadows and come into the light.


I don't know what kind of friendship we can have...or if we can have one at all given the past...but I'm here for you. I realize now that you've always been here for me.

Love ya,

S.

P.S. Oh, I should probably state that I did not get married or change my name...I'm playing with my stalkers. No matter what, I'll fight the temptation to change my appearance again and hide again..but at 41, I really, really want cosmetic surgery...

Yeah, yeah...you're right. I don't like pain so I'll probably will let my body look like a worn out old sock as I age.

P.S.S. No matter what - LIVE! I don't care what you do, just be happy. Even if you never see me again...please know that you're loved.

I know who You ARE

I know who you are. So, when you see me walking down the street in my blue dress, my horns and a tail....know that I dressed up for you.

Smell that? Yeah, that's Ode de la Pepper Spray.

Yum!

You're not going to scare me out of business or out of the pubic eye anymore. You did for awhile but...I'm going to use your crap to my advantage.

In fact, I may just amp it up and make it harder for you to corner me because I'll surround myself with other people. All I have to do is find a group of big strong horny men that will keep you away because they'll think they will be getting a little something out of me...

someday...

maybe...

That's not what you wanted, is it.

Stop playing...you'll lose.

Be straight with me or pay the price.

I own that monopoly board. Never play head games with a red-headed female hypnotist.

Love ya,

S.

P.S. You're too senile to remember the reference to the dress. Here you go...don't want to confuse you.



Seriously stop it...