Night Terrors

The weirdest thing happened the other morning...I woke up with tears in my eyes...and one rolling down my cheek...and I knew I must have been dreaming of you again.

-- Author Unknown

For 15 months I've been plagued with dreams of an old friend. I haven't seen him since I was a kid. These dreams usually wake me up at 3:33 in the morning and it's driving me slowly insane.

Since the winter of '06, I started keeping a dream diary in the hopes that I can get some insight into the workings of my inner mind.

It's pretty bad. I've been told I scream his name. How frickin' embarrassing. Luckily, it's a common name. I guess if I ever get married again, I'll only date people with that name.

Hey, is your name John Jones? NO? How about you? NO? You?

Just kidding (and no, his initials aren't J.J.).

I've done the usual hypnotist things. Command myself to block out his face, go into trance to find out what I need to remember so that I can move past this phase, try to pinpoint how he made me feel so that I can find that emotion within myself. Really, I've done all the usual things and, well, it does no good.

I still dream of him. The worst dream was of him drowning. The second was a visualization of a car crash. That could mean so many things!

I read Freud. I read Jung. I went through all the psychology text books at my disposal. I learned that people dream of relationships from their past when they encounter the same problems in a current relationship. That couldn't possibly help me. It wasn't a very serious relationship. I was just a kid.

After the first year, I broke down and contacted a psychic. She said he was a twin flame and that we had an empathic bond. Scary. She said that this has something to do with the upcoming change in consciousness that will occur in the year 2012. That sounds far too complicated.
According to another psychic my soul twin is a gay man. I offer this as proof of God's existence. God really loves me, doesn't he? I'm afraid of commitment and my other half likes men. I guess things couldn't be more perfect!!

Now, if only I could move on...and get some sleep!

***

Edit 7/22/2008 Well, I learned over the weekend that this man still breathes. At least, he didn't die in a fiery car crash. Thank goodness. In any event, I'm sure that he's benefiting from all that praying I'm doing for him. And, yeah, I actually understand the drowning thing. He listens to a song that contains references to a deluge of water.

The subconscious mind is a blast, is it not?

I still don't know why I had all the bad dreams. But, now that he wrote to tell me that he's living - they've stopped. I'm sure I'll get the answer soon enough.

In any event, I'm so happy!

Good-night!