What is Love Anyway?

“Love is happiness given back and forth”

~Unknown~

Songbird

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.

~ Anonymous

Future Fortune Gebo

True friendships
Are not
Easily undone
Once you overcome
Fear of “self”
Then nothing can thwart you
And you’ll see
There is no way to proceed except
Forward.

~unknown

Visualize a Bright Future

“Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.”

~Unknown

Learning the Hard Way...

Never ask how much worse a situation can possibly get

or you'll soon find out!!

Apathy

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

~ Elie Wiesel

Be Who You Are

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What one can be, one must be."

~Abraham Maslow

Life Lesson of the Week...

You'll discover that real love is millions of miles past falling in love with anyone or anything. When you make that one effort to feel compassion instead of blame or self-blame, the heart opens again and continues opening.

~Sara Paddison,

Hidden Power of the Heart

***

Thank you for freeing me.

Funny Dream - He Ought to Know!

A recent dream:

My Ex-Husband and I were roaming the shopping mall looking for a gift for his wonderful wife. We peruse the shops while talking about our growing daughter. He finally finds the perfect thing and I wait for him to check out.

We leave the mall and he offers me a ride home and while in his truck, he brings up a troublesome topic by asking "Why do you let your husband talk to you like that in front of our daughter?"

"I don't know," I reply. "It's best just to let him rant and not fight in front of her."

"I want to like my future Son-in-Law, " Mr. Blast From The Past asserts, "don't teach her to pick out a jerk! I don't want to have to kick any one's @$$!"

My ex hands me a bag and tells me that it's a gift for my current spouse. I peek inside to see a wad of white canvas.

"It's what he's going to have if he's not nicer to you," he grins.

"What the heck is it?" I dig it out from the bag and unfold it slowly.

It was an empty wallet.

Opportunity in Disguise

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.

- Harrison Ford

I'll share...

If you're lacking faith in yourself,

feel free to borrow some of the faith that I have in you!

Good Journey

"Yearn for where you want to go, not for where you have already been: Your future will be better, your days will be brighter, and your nights will be filled with the glorious heavens."

~Tigress Luv, The Breakup Guru

Once in a Lifetime

A person taking stock in middle age is like an artist or composer looking at an unfinished work; but whereas the composer and the painter can erase some of their past efforts, we cannot. We are stuck with what we have lived through. The trick is to finish it with a sense of design and a flourish rather than to patch up the holes or merely to add new patches to it.

~Harry S. Broudy

Well Wishing for an Old Friend

"With you my heart will always stay.

With you my thoughts will be every day.

You remain to be the one that I regret letting get away.

Why didn't I say what I needed to say?

You are the one I will always use my wishes on.

You are the one I will always wish was never gone.

I'll constantly wonder what went wrong.

I'll forever think of what I could've did that was never done."

~Unknown

Many of us have someone special that slipped away from us. Although the person went away, the love continued to linger. I'll let you in on a little secret, there is someone like that in my life. Okay, it's not really a secret. Everyone in my life seems to know about it and, luckily, few dare to speak of him anymore.

Over the years, friends would run into him and tell me of his good news and that made me very happy. To this very day, when I hear sad news regarding this person, I cry. I feel disappointed because the wishes that I made for him when I was a naive teenager didn't come true and my prayers that he have the very best in life haven't been answered yet.

If they were, he'd have found his true love early,

be happily married, and not know the sting of loss.

He'd have an expensive car.

He'd have a mansion.

He'd be stupendously wealthy.

He'd utilize his wonderful talents and be famous in his chosen occupation.

He'd find that the things that he needs come to him effortlessly.

He'd always be smiling and be far too happy to have any thoughts of me!

Isn't that what we all secretly wish for? Don't we all just want to share a long, productive, prosperous, and happy life with the one that was made just for us?

It's not really such a tall order. Is it?

I'm a good person.

I pray rigorously.

My prayers of two decades haven't been answered.

How could that possibly be?

Perhaps the Creator has something even more spectacular in store for him.

My heart certainly hopes so. It's about time!

Until then, may the love that I have for him surround him with peace and joy...even if he has no clue as to its origin.

Personal Theme Songs

Over the past few days, I've been thinking about which song would define my life at this stage. I think I've finally found it. It's perfect, too.

Every line fits. It describes everything perfectly. The best thing about this song is that it's vintage just like me.

My favorite line out of it is

I have no fear,

I have only love.

- Fleetwood Mac

Gypsy

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I've learned the hard way that fear and love cannot co-exist.

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Symbolism is an interesting thing: it can tell a person a lot about you. It's more powerful just to let it do the talking.

Think about it. What is your theme song?

The Wings of Love

I always thought that white feathers represented unconditional love.

I have this crazy idea that whenever a white feather is found upon the ground,
one is supposed to pick it up*,
and promise someone special to love them as light as that feather,
to let them drift where God calls them
and let them float on the air
and to welcome them back
to appreciate their unique flair.

Loving one as light as a feather means
not to extract promises
or made demands.
Love doesn't have to mean something tangible.
It doesn't need a reason to exist.

It just does.

I found a pristine white feather today.
I consider it a sign from God.
I promised a special friend that I will forever love him as lightly as that feather,
with no expectations or demands.
I realized that we probably share a
beautiful type of love that nothing can touch
because it is unconditional and pure.
It is a type of simple love transcends time and space.
It knows no bounds nor distance.

That is the way that a loving platonic friendship should truly be.

* And wash your hands really, super well....

even if you're not a Virgo with OCD.

Love's Glasses

To be in love is merely to be In a state of perpetual anesthesia:

To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god

Or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

~ by H.L. Mencken

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I'm going to be extra good today because I want good Carmex.

- Ann

Age 9

I Promised it when?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

~Douglas Adams

God's Grace

Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and it will be opened to you.

~Matthew 7:7

Good-bye is Not Forever

Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.

- Richard Bach

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The Secret to my Success

The more one does the more one is apt to succeed.
Yes, that is true.
Nothing motivates me more than unrequited love:
because every spare moment is filled with painful thoughts of

You.

I guess that thought means I'm not working hard enough today, eh?

Socially Sanctioned Slavery

Living in an unhappy marriage is the worst form of prostitution.

Tame That Bulging Thing!

Pride and ego are the biggest impediments to learning and change in life.

Our ego and our pride are the biggest stifling factors that we have to learn to overcome.

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Okay, I have to address a little criticism that I've received lately. Yes, some say that I share too much. Yes, I probably do.

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I do it with purpose.

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If someone had told me not to do some of the stupid stuff I used to do, I would have spared myself some painful lessons and not hurt the ones I love in the process.

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I share stories to prevent others from pain.

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Often, on message boards, I'll come across messages from men questioning the normal sexual activity of women. I will not hesitate to answer these questions if I think it will do one of two things. First, I will answer if I believe that the words can demonstrate that to the inquirer that his needs are normal and that he is not deviant. Second, I answer to show women that there is no shame in certain behaviors and get the men to start illustrating how much certain activities mean to them. Certainly, many of these questions may appear perverted to some people, but to tell the truth, most men who have the courage to ask such questions are really in pain. They deserve to be released from that and not question their personal needs so much.

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I share stories to illustrate the human condition.

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Sometimes I want people to stop and think. I want people to question. I want people to question their own belief systems. Questioning often invokes personal growth and I'm all for that. The problem is, sometimes, that I have to say the darnedest things to get the attention of the people who need to question.

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I share stories to make people go hmmmm....

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I tell the truth in everything I've written. I'm pushing forty, now. I've done quite a bit in the past twenty some years. I've changed my name, career, interests, viewpoints, appearance, locations, and faith. That does not make me flaky. If you knew me, it would make sense.

The point is that everyone makes sense once you get to know them! It's true. In any event, no matter what you believe about me, I've done my best to grow.

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People who criticize others are invested in the things that they say.

That is because of their ego.

Questioning their viewpoints hurts their pride.

They cannot question their belief systems or grow.

That's sad because questioning will either strengthen their convictions

or lead them to new conclusions.

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ON ANOTHER UNRELATED NOTE: I've noticed my overzealous spam filter has been deleting messages, so I have changed the email address on Blogger to one where I get all my messages and fill of spam, spam, spam, spam.

I'm sure to get your shining messages, now.

Follow your Heart

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of."

- Blaise Pascal

Life's Dance....

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

- Alan Cohen

Divine Love is the Only Constant

God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way.

-Leighton Ford

True Torment

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

-- Rita Rudner

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Yes, it is sooo much fun to torment one's love to the point that he squirms, grins, blushes, has trouble walking, and rushes to get home!

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Edit some time later: I guess the torment can be too much for some men and they rush to push you out of the house! What a lesson! Hmmmm.....

People Do Not Fall Out of Love

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.

- Unknown

Delusional Heatstroke

Today, I'm beet red and I deserve it.

Yes, I do...

I went to visit my parents down at the National Cemetery yesterday in the 100 degree heat armed with only bottled water and flowers. I was so set on my trip that I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch, dressed in a skimpy outfit, put my red hair in a pony tail, and forget the sunscreen and hat which would have protected my skin from burning.

I was just asking for trouble!

Thinking that I'd save gas, I parked my behemoth of a vehicle on the other side of the gardens believing that I could hike all the way to my parents' resting spot.

At first, it was peaceful. I reverently walked by the headstones revealing the names of so many soldiers who left this existence way too early. It made me think hard about those serving in Iraq and Afghanistan and the loved ones they've left behind. I pray that it stops soon.

Graveyards make me pray compulsively.

Then I became thirsty. But, no, I refused to drink the water that I brought for the flowers.

Can anyone say dummy?

Then, I became dizzy. But, no, I'm headstrong and decided to press forward.

Then, I became delusional.

I saw a mist and heard an internal voice ask, "who are you here to see?"

"My dad."

"What's his name, dear?" came the reply from my imagination.

"Robert Berry."

"Oh, he's right over here. I'll show you."

I found myself following the mist right to a grave marked Robert Barry. That wasn't my dad.

Staring at the headstone of a stranger, I imagined hearing my mother's musical voice. "Remember the fence. " So, I hiked for quite awhile until I reached a fence and followed a bird to a familiar spot. I looked around and again heard my mother...

"To the right." I took a few steps and then I heard "No, the other right."

Sure enough, I stood in front of my parents' headstone. I sat down and began to pick out the broken fake flowers and stems from the grass from the stuff my sister likes to bring them.

I gave them the flowers and filled the vase with some of the bottled water before my soul began to well up with guilt for breaking a big promise to them. On my mother's death bed, I promised her that I would go to school until I couldn't go any further. Before my father died he asked me to promised him that I would not marry before finishing my Ph.D. so that I could always take care of myself. I didn't heed that advice and ended up marrying someone who demanded that I break my vow.

I started to cry.

I prayed for my younger sister. When my parents died, I was a teenager. I waited until my 18th birthday before trying to adopt her out of foster care. My kind-hearted ex-husband even married me in a bid to set up a home and win custody. We failed. She ended up living with a pimp and she eventually became a prostitute. I pleaded with my remaining family members but my cries fell onto deaf ears. My heart aches for her but there is nothing that I can do for someone who doesn't believe she is loved, except pray.

Sitting in the grass, lost in my thoughts, I swore I could hear my dad sing to me. In my mind, I heard him clear as a bell. A voice from the past telling me

"the cemeteries are for the living, not the dead.

Your ancestors are with you.

We are in the eyes of the children waiting for you at home."

I lingered before I hallucinated my dad's insistent voice again....

"drink the D@m# water and get your @$$ home."

I left. I learned long ago never to argue with Dad because he was usually right.
This man was actually my step-father. When I was five years of age, I fell and injured myself fairly badly on the porch of a Paramedic. He tended to my wounds and had someone find my mother. When my mother went to his home to retrieve me, the energy shifted. From that moment forward those two were like magnets: they seemed joined at the hip. They were in love from the get-go.

My step-father had Cherokee lineage on his maternal side. He tried to pass as a white man and spoke of taunts he endured as a child due to his heritage. I find his lessons and legacy beautiful and the rituals and trinkets that he left me fill my soul with appreciation for the beauty of the Creator. I'm so thankful that he was a part of my life.

Anyhow, I digress... my point is that this sounds like something a Cherokee Paramedic would say.

Somehow I managed to make it home. I burned some some California Sweetgrass upon returning and promised myself that I was going to return to the cemetery again at Halloween. If there are ghosts at that place, that would be the day to go.

At the very least, it won't be so hot in October.

Today, I find myself wondering if I suffered heatstroke or met a few poltergeists. It was an interesting experience to say the least, especially for someone with my personality. No, one is not necessarily a nut if she imagines she's having a paranormal experience: she may be an INFJ.

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I need to try to repeat the experience again when I'm less likely to feel the combined effects of photo sensitivity and dehydration. I'll call it qualitative research and I'm bringing a video camera, just in case. You know what will probably happen? Nothing!

To be sure, if you are going to become delusional: do it at a graveyard. It is a surreal adventure!

Priceless People

I've spent way too much time the past few weeks playing Owned! on Facebook. I must say that I find the whole idea of bidding on people difficult: in my view, we are all unique and therefore priceless. How do you put a price on a priceless person?

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I also find the game inspiring to say the least. The photos on Owned! remind me that everyone is beautiful in his or her own right. No two people are the same. The people who are showing off their hobbies tend to have a sparkle in their eye. Where else can one find a photo of a seventy-something year old man with a boyish grin riding a Harley? It's wonderful.

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Owned! is a testament to the uniqueness of every human being.

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The game is also teaching me a little bit about myself in the process and about the people who have made a difference in my past. A long time ago, when Madonna dressed like a five and dime hussie, young women tended to run around without under garments and young men used to stare. I'll admit that I also engaged in the fashion trend and dressed in poor taste. At the time, though, I was too stupid to notice the boys watching and was oblivious to their comments.

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During my senior year in high school, a quiet young saxophone player, two years my junior, timidly supplied me with his jacket and mentioned that it would make me more comfortable. I remember him being quite insistent. He was so much a gentleman that he wouldn't look at me until I took the coat. Needless to say, I took it and wore it.

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It didn't take long for me to get the hint. You know, he was right. I did feel more comfortable, a bit embarrassed, but less self-conscious. Leering boys didn't follow me around anymore. It was a lesson learned.

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People really do judge you based on your clothing.

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Not too long ago I went through my yearbooks in preparation for the last reunion. I grimaced at the number of boys who wrote about my figure and my breasts in particular.

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Ouch - my ego!

What a thing to be remembered for!!

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This young man's legacy survives to this very day. Whenever my teen-aged daughter leaves the house, I think about Tom and his jacket. I try to ascertain whether her outfit would be distracting enough to make the boys bug her. If so, I insist that she change.

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I have recently found him on Owned! and I'm trying to get his photo up to a million dollars. I know it sounds stupid and childish but now that I have daughters, my former classmate's compassionate act becomes even more priceless!

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The Internet is so much fun! It really can remind us of the blessings in our lives both past and present.

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P.S. Thank you Tom...remember you're priceless.

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EDIT 7/11/2008 - I just logged into Facebook and found that one of my friends brought Tom's photo up to over $800,000 and bought enough photos from me to give me $1,765, 539.00. So, Tom that's your bid...I have no money left.

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Honestly, that still is not enough money to buy any one person.

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Do not change a thing...

Our personalities are affected by circumstance.

Every incident, every lesson, and every experience contributes to the person that you are.

You are valuable as you are.

If changing one thing in your past would change the beautiful soul that you have today
I'm uncertain if I'd want anything to change.

Our tribulations make us stronger.

Our pain makes us more compassionate.

Our trials help us to understand the trials of others.

Our tears help us enjoy the laughter.

In m own life, I know that despite all the scars, pain, and loss -

I wouldn't change a thing!

I've finally learned that there is beauty in strength.

You are beautiful as you are.

Live in Joy

Live in Joy,

In love,

Even among those who hate.

Live in joy,

In health,

Even among the afflicted.

Live in joy,

In peace,

Even among the troubled.

Look within.

Be still.

Free from fear and attachment,

Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

There is no fire like greed,

No crime like hatred,

No sorrow like separation,

No sickness like hunger of heart,

And no joy like the joy of freedom.

Health, contentment and trust

Are your greatest possessions,

And freedom your greatest joy.

Look within.

Be still.

Free from fear and attachment,

Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

- From the Dhammapada, Words of the Buddha

We Are Works of Divine Art

We who are clay blended by the Master Potter, come from the kiln of Creation in many hues. How can people say one skin is colored, when each has its own coloration? What should it matter that one bowl is dark and the other pale, if each is of good design and serves its purpose well.

~Hopi Saying Attributed to Polingaysi Qoyawayma

Viva la Revolucion!

"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

- George Orwell

Fight for Liberty or Miss it...

It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you.

-Dick Cheney

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Thanks to all those who served before, serve now, and will serve in the future.

May your efforts to preserve liberty, for all, not fail.

The rest of us need to keep a vigilant watch, fight the battles that we can, and not be swayed by pretty words and bright promises from the insincere.

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The dark of night is upon us now.

If we do not fight to save our Constitution and the Bill of Rights,

we will dread the dawning of the new day

and our patriots' sacrifices will be wasted.

Don't lose what our heroes fought for...

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.

- Benjamin Franklin

Heathen Demon Child

"The wild-cat shall meet with the jackals

And the satyr shall cry to his fellow,

Yea, Lilith shall repose there

And find her a place of rest"

- Isiah 34:14

I'm personally tired of hearing sexist men complain about how the Creator took a rib from Adam to create Eve. Today I heard a crazy Christian complain that it was a waste of a perfectly good bone. If his wife hears that, he may have to find other uses for ol' limpy.

Real men don't whine about the gender that gives them sexual favors.

Yes, I'm sick of hearing that all women are inferior to men because the dominant Christian faith believes that women were made from men.
According to myth, that's not exactly the case. Holy books often refer to Lilith, Adam's first wife, who fled the garden of Eden because being his wife wasn't exactly her style. Lilith is said to be created by God with the same earth that created Adam. Lilith is now known as the Demon Queen of the Succubi.

From now on, when confronted with a proudly sexist Christian, I'm going to claim to be descended from Lilith. Yes, I'm going to assert that I'm a demon child because I'm irritated with obnoxious sexist Christians.
To be sure, devout Christians do not disrespect people due to their gender. Still, I'd have fun shutting a few of the abusive, ignorant, and vocal ones up and make them run to their churches. Maybe they can learn a few things about Jesus and brotherly love in God's house.
And it will be good...
Besides, what else can one expect from a redhead, with long curly hair, green eyes, and a birthday of September 7th? I've heard that being born on the "feast of the beast" makes me a "bride of Satan"....hmmm....
Yes, this is part of my childhood baggage. For many years, I was ambidextrous. I'm a natural lefty but my superstitious Grandmother made me learn to use my right hand. They say that our biases towards certain ideologies start in childhood. Mine probably do as well.

Okay, it's high time to go along with the superstitious baloney. Maybe I can make it work for me. I'm going to go out and buy the biggest pentagram that I can find and parade it around. Maybe I'll scare the sexist Bible thumpers away from me for good!

It's worth a shot!

P.S. Can anyone teach me how to spin my head?

Let the truth unfold...

No single picture is going to tell you that a caterpillar is going to become a butterfly; and one picture won't tell you that a butterfly flies.

- R. Buckminster Fuller

Did the lawmakers take it out?

“It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution this idea of the separation of church and state.”

- Sean Hannity

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Mr. Hannity, let me refresh your memory...

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Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

- The First Amendment

Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791

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Intelligence and truth are beauty. Ignorance, lies and distortion are ugly.

What do you espouse?

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Remember, intellectual prostitutes have pimps.

Free yourself now.