Coffee, Donuts, and Cameras

I like police officers.

I like firemen.

I don't like many lawyers.

So, if the local city lawyers are going to send the cops to my door when I challenge them, I guess I may as well set up a camera, learn to make decent coffee and stock my home with donuts that do not come from a health food store. They taste like sawdust, it's insulting to offer anyone such food.

The truth is I've actually never seen a cop eat a donut....have you? I wonder where that stereotype comes from?

I guess it is high time that I grew a couple of manners and tried to be polite.

Oh, if the city fires the officers for gaining weight...I hope they call me. I know a couple of the good lawyers. Same goes for anyone working where I live who is fired for a health issue.

This old lady has seen, read and heard enough. Apparently that 5 minutes worth of diversity training and legal compliance to certain health related federal laws is not doing the city employees very much good. I hope that changes soon.

Love ya,

Scheming S.

City Lawyers, City Cars, and EMDR

Why is it that within 24 hours of receiving communications about a certain municipal attorney's office, a police officer visits my home?

I think I may have PTSD. Upon seeing the police car in front of my house, I immediately went into trance actually felt a little freaked out and scared. All I could do is think about a phone call with a lawyer that took place three years ago, the one that started this whole mess I'm in. I also thought about the time I awoke to officers shining flashlights into my windows at 2:00 am, just hours after receiving a letter from the Colorado Supreme Court advising us to sue the abusive lawyer who called and threatened me.

Between the summer 2008 and the fall of 2010, it was not uncommon to see city cars sitting outside of my home. In 2010, I complained to a police dispatcher and to a lawmaker, it stopped almost overnight. The sight of the cars outside my home usually made me feel scared because they started shortly after the lawyer called me. With the exception of the time the paralegal harassed me to sign for documents, I never knew why they were there. The city cars creeped my daughter out so much, she moved out of the house.

I'm trying to document today's story, just in case it comes up again. The officer was very professional. I will assume that he was an officer because the car was a city car with peeling paint. All the city cars look like that now. I think it is part of the current lawmakers need to beg for more money by claiming poverty.

People generally like police officers and firefighters because they're the ones rushing into the burning buildings and other scary scenes that other people rush away from; if politicians cut the funding in public safety, people will usually pony up more dough.

As I told the firefighters last year, people will always take care of public servants who take care of them. Last year,people were wary of tax hikes, some cities voted in tax increases for fire departments. Tax restriction attempts failed, I believe, solely because people respect the firefighters and police officers.

Never, ever disrespect those people who would rush into danger for a complete stranger.

Tonight, when the officer showed up, I was in my recording studio and wasn't sure that what I heard was pounding on my door. When I realized it was a human being, I ran downstairs and found the officer in my back yard.

I was wearing my old glasses so I couldn't read his badge.

He told me there was a suspect that they were seeking and that he was concerned that he fled into my backyard through an open gate or was hiding in my attic because my ex left the garage door open. He checked my attic (we are cleaning out the house so there are boxes and donations piled around the attic ladder, no one could have gotten up there easily).

I was grateful that the told me the gate and garage were open. I am also grateful because my ex is embarrassed that an officer of the law saw the weeds in the backyard of a property he owns. Guess who promised to get rid of them tomorrow morning? So, that is a nice development.

What struck me as odd was the fact the the neighbor's young children came over about the same time. I told them to go home and tell their father but the officer said that wasn't necessary as the children weren't in danger.

If there is a suspect on the loose, wouldn't the kids be better off at home? Hmmmm.....

Also

the couple across the street and the lady two houses down left their garage doors open, the officer didn't visit them.

So...

I called dispatch and they said they had one civil matter in my area pertaining to a BB gun but did not know about a suspect at large. The dispatcher thought that the officer was my PAR officer who wanted to warn me about leaving my garage door open. I can't complain about that- the Lord only knows what he may have prevented by getting me to shut the doors.

Still, the other people weren't warned.

The part of me that freaked out over the city cars in front of her house is wondering if this is connected to any pending litigation or political activity pertaining to people she knows. I doubt it but that thought will always be in the back of my mind until the legal issues are resolved and someone explains why the heck they did what they did.

I don't know how to take this. I received several documents to peruse from this attorney's office this morning and spent 8 hours cross referencing that data with other data the attorney's paralegal made me sign for a few years ago. I found lots and lots of problems and inconsistencies with the data.

And one lie pertaining to me. It was just one...and it was couched as an issue with memory, so I guess it's a legal game rather than a slap in the face. I can live with that.

I expect to be grilled as a witness for 8 hours next week by their lawyers and find the timing of the PD visit strange.

Again, the officer was polite and professional. It may be nothing. I may just be reacting to my past experience with a few unethical city employees and the stories of other people who have called me in recent months.

I have received a few phone calls pertaining to issues involving public safety. One person is claiming to have endured the same kinds of things I'm dealing with; I have not told anyone except close friends and family members about my experiences, so this person had no clue I would understand what (s)he was saying.

Perhaps I am having a reaction to the stories of these individuals.

I don't know.

I'm documenting it just in case something happens to me.

I don't feel safe here. Luckily, I have a plan for making sure this never happens to another soul again.

Pushing rule changes and playing politics takes my mind off of the threats. They best pray I never have a chance to go after them for harassment or that I'm too darn busy to start another political action committee. I've got an idea that would prevent rouge attorneys from stinking up the city for more than a few years at a whack. I'm pretty sure I can get enough funding to pull it off too.

Don't test my patience and tempt me to take this on by playing unfair legal games with me. That's how the current PAC came to be in the first place; I was trying to make sense of the darkness in that rabbit hole some city lawyer threw me in.

An illegal fine led to questions. Questions led to my being slandered. My being slandered made me question why and led to digging. What I found while digging disgusted me.

Stop the games now.

I'll win.

Same Old Tune

After all these years, I still sing the same stupid song.

Please don't tell anyone or it would be a scandal.

I'm fortunate in that I'm going gray, getting wrinkled and know that you will no longer find me pretty enough. That's the thought that keeps me from betraying the truth. I'm too old now. I'll tell that to myself as long as it keeps me from being stupid....someday I'll forget.

It's amazing. Look at all the crazy things I do just so I don't have time to miss you. Now, if only I could fill those moments I wake up crying in the dark hours of the morning after dreaming of you.

Eventually senility or death will take care of that.

The truth is that this isn't the life I wanted. I do not want to do what I am doing; I'm just keeping a promise.

I pray you find the one you desire and live the life of your dreams.

Love ya,

S.

On Taxes, Stalkers, and Politicians

I realized that I shouldn't complain about having people come to me letting me know that someone in my profession 'took their money' and help them for next to nothing (or free).


I shouldn't complain about people who are unemployed asking for things for free either.

It is fairly fortunate to have a job that is so great that I'd pay to do it. Sadly, with the business and professional taxes out here, I really, really do pay for it....quite dearly!

And, the good Lord probably sends people like that to me to keep me too busy to deal with Mr. Negativity and his band of stalking zealots. He claims he doesn't know about the stalking, maybe he doesn't. It's hard to say. It's been going on 20 years!! Hello!!

Mike mentioned that it appears they someone who looks like his father, driving a car that looks like his parent's car, is hanging around the local elementary school when it lets out in the afternoon.

If that is not enough to do something, I don't know what is? He and his family need therapy. If they won't do therapy with him to get reintegrated in his life and continue with the stalking and threatening behavior, we need restraining orders!

On another note...the city actually surprised me today, too. Maybe, just maybe...I'll lighten up on them a bit.

Maybe...

I was informed that they didn't say anything bizarre about me recently. I'm soooo darn happy!!! I could kiss them.

I'd go away if they'd change their policy to protect abused women and not allow supervisors to gossip, lie and blame potentially battered spouses for job losses when they need to lighten their payroll. When you get rid of employees, think undotted 'i' or uncrossed 't'....not, your wife has a master's degree who unmotivates tax auditors, fakes heart attacks, and needs to get a job!

That remark about unmotivating a tax auditor really stings....I get paid between $150 - $300 an hour to motivate people (when I actually charge). Really? Me? A demotivator? Seriously? They have no clue what I've motivated people to do...well, maybe they do.

They challenged me to motivate everyone who came into my life....could I help it if most of them were anti-tax activists?

The universe sends me what I need.

I'll put the kidding aside to get back to the original issue. If they would clean up the mess their employee made and put rules into place that would make it harder for her or other bullies to pull that again, it would make me incredibly docile.

It would benefit them, too.

Think about it....instead of being a bullying organization that is going to be cited in research, they could be seen as a trendsetting leader.

I'm sure someone could arrange an award ceremony of some type as a PR stunt. Government officials like parchment and TV cameras.

At least, I think they do, especially during election season.

We could call the media. Think about a certain Mayoral candidate that very few people have heard about getting kudos from women's organizations.

Other people have even done the work for them. I have four outlines that other governmental entities use....all they have to do is let me know they've instituted the changes, show me the handbook to prove it and

poof...

I'll play less of a role in politics and focus on helping people who want to stop smoking and learn how to be ethical hypnotists....but they'd better hurry. I'm thinking about abandoning the business to take a more active role in local politics....soooo.....

What do you say?

I can either hypnotically influence smokers....... or voters.

It's the city HR manager's call.

Love ya,

S.

On Fainting, Asthma, Stalkers & A Cover-up

Last Wednesday, I passed out because of asthma.

It almost happened again today. I was standing by the mirror in the living room and couldn't breathe, I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror and my lips were blue. I swear my skin had a greenish cast to it and....I got dizzy. My eyes started to go...so everything could have looked bluish green.

I've had the flu for the past few days and am having trouble breathing...soo...I know what it is. I'm sure it's my asthma. I have never used my inhaler; it's like putting in contacts for the first time. It's contrary to one's natural tendencies.

Okay, I didn't pay attention when the doctor showed me how because I thought she misdiagnosed me. I was diagnosed with asthma in '04 after five years of passing out every time I hit the treadmill. I actually thought it was psychosomatic.

Also, if one passes out while running on a treadmill in a certain gym, wouldn't it stand to reason that avoiding those treadmills would solve the problem? It did for many years.

Oh well, I'll be better once I get over the flu.

On another note, I had to make some tough decisions today...it's going to upset a few people but I've got to start taking care of myself. Three hours of sleep a day isn't working well for me. I've caught the flu twice in six months!!!

****

Oh, and 90% of this blog is fictional; it's designed to give someone something to talk about so she leaves other people I adore alone.

Of course, If I'd just find the funds to divorce the problem then all the gossips who annoy me will just melt away. The one at the city...the one in Thornton...the jerks who take what he says, twist it and spout it off in court hearings, in the newspaper forums, or to anyone who will listen.

I'd really like to know who told the lady at the city that stuff she said about me. It may make me nicer because I can focus on the source, not the person that was used to emotionally abuse me ...hint...hint...

But...just so you know...the sis-in-law with the gun thingy....that's real. That may just save an officer a few hours. I'm scared of her. Her initials are the same as mine, if it helps.

I'm afraid I'm going to turn up cold. If I do, it will be easy to investigate. The phone is registered to a man with my last name and the first name of a pig whose best friend was a spider. They live on 83rd. The parents wouldn't shoot, the daughter once menaced a neighbor with a gun. These people have threatened me for years. There is a box with some threatening messages and nasty letters in the garage. It's a white shirt box on the East side of the garage by the canning jars.

I suspect that my in-laws may have called the lady who is lying about me at the city because her lies are very similar to theirs (there does appear to be a projection or two on her part....but the stories are fairly similiar). I have no proof of that. I do know, however, that they visited with my former coworkers and professors trying to spread their garbage. I wouldn't put them past it to do it again with people Mike knew.

Still....government officials who make nearly six figures should know better than to be used as a means to spread lies about a citizen for the benefit of an abusive family. An apology would do a world of good. A policy change will keep me from making everything public.

Don't ever let an employee do that ever again. Someone could get killed. It might not be the spouse. I can't believe your employee is so fearless as to lie about a complete stranger. What if I were mentally unstable? or a gun-owner? or suicidal and wanted to die by cop? What if she were accurate in her assertion that her employee were violent? Who exactly did she put in danger?

I can't believe your HR manager is ignoring me! He needs to read what she said in those documents and put two and two together.

She also should visit the EAP and talk about the person who threw her into a wall. Someone was thrown into a wall and...it was not me. When people lie like that it is usually a portrait of their own past. I'm sorry to have to say this so blatently...but it is what it is. If you care about this employee....Ask her!

Really ask her...if you do it with concern and in a safe environment, I bet you tears will form in her eyes.

*****

I'm thinking about moving my business. I love that office but...my in-laws found it, someone is following me when I go out with male colleagues or old friends, and the same person is running around calling me Satan. This is happened once before, too and it was with a group of people acting on behalf of my sister-in-law.

My in-laws and their friends rarely approach me. They usually approach third parties. That is what is happening now. The only time I was approached was when I parted from a friend and was waiting to cross the street. The man walked past and called me "Satan". A couple of weeks later, the same impossibly tall man was harassing other tenants in my office building, holding a picture of me, and wanting to know about my personal life.

Part of me is getting tired of cleaning up another person's bad work for next to nothing. I've probably said too much. I do too much work for free; which I guess is cool for being a demon and all...(just teasing).

And...the office reminds me of my high school sweetheart. I realized what that office was after I signed the lease. I'm sorry. If I worry about him, I send him negative energy...the best thing to do is to stop thinking....about him....like that...you know.

I'd move out of the city in which I live...but I've got to make sure I can find someone to take over my dastardly plan to educate the public as to the a couple of issues I've noticed in my research pertaining to the weirdness my ex and I endured.

Never, and I repeat, never....harass a complete stranger. You don't know what she's capable of doing. Seriously...this should be a given for anybody. Don't play with people because you might find someone willing to play a wilder version of the game with you.

Idiots.... I just wanted to know why they did what they did and I found [deleted - they don't need to know the hand I hold].

But, to tell the truth, I love it when karma actually works!

Love ya,

S.

Freaky Nightmares

I'm still having nightmares about my high school sweetheart. They've been coming and going for six years now.

I'm going on about three hours of sleep each day. Well, that's if I'm lucky.... I'd like to say that staying up late is making me more damn productive but my spelling, my grammer, and my writing is not very pretty at the moment. My creativity is non-existant.

I need to sleep.

I fell asleep about 5:00 this morning and dreamt of my old boyfriend, again. The dream sums up everything I'm trying to do very well...so I guess I'll share.

There I was, standing on the ground level of his house (as I imagine it would look), stuck in a corner trying to clean up a mess. The more I cleaned that mess, the more it stayed the same.

There were no cobwebs, only a stain. I kept scrubbing and cleaning to no avail.

My dream self was incredibly frustrated.

I looked around and saw him sleeping on the couch and I looked out the window and saw a beautiful woman waiting to come inside. I try to open the window but I couldn't do it.

She's so pretty.

I wonder if it would upset him more if I continued to stay and clean up the mess or if I should leave it up to them. If I stay, I may end up cleaning it or I will make it impossible for her to come into his life. If I leave, he won't have to deal with me, she can come into his life but that house will be tainted by that stupid stain.

So...I watch him sleep and wonder what is in his best interest. She's so pretty and she's alone. He's alone. It really would be best if I left.

So, I leave and explain to her what I'm doing. I'm going to leave a slight mess because I was a stupid kid and broke his heart. I apologize for forcing her to clean it up but I lack the ability to do so and if I stay too long, he'll never have a shot with her.

She smiles.

So, I leave.

Joyfully, I walk through an emerald forest and listen to the breeze sway in the trees. I smell the fresh scent in the air. I hear the animals moving around.

I turn around and....

there he is following me.

I wish I knew what to do. I care for him deeply but I don't know how else to clean up the mess I made at seventeen.

My ex-husband was destroyed by his high-school sweetheart. He'd fly into violent rages and call me her name before beating the crap out of me and sending me to the hospital.

Apparently, Renee looked just like me.

He hated women who had a name that started with R and swore to avoid them at all costs. So, when I fled, I changed my name to the most obnoxious name beginning with the letter R.

It is the name of a resort.

He hated high-school sweethearts, so can you guess what my last name was? It was the last thing he ever guessed.

The idea came to me when I visited a store that sold model trains at Cherry Creek Mall. We had the Rio Grande and Thomas the Tank Engine.

It took him eight years and a private investigator to find me. I'm such a witch but it worked. It was certainly cheaper than repairing broken windshields, broken windows and hospital visits.

The point is that I never want anyone else to have to clean up my mess like I tried to do with my ex-husband. I want to be honest and open but realize that I am very clammed up around my friend. I think it is because I don't want him to ever get hurt again...I'm afraid to get too close, for fear that we'll end up wounded again.

I have a friend who is trying to understand what happened between he and his high-school sweetheart. That man set me straight. I guess clamming up is the meanest thing I could do, even if I'm well-meaning. Sometimes it takes another man, complaining about a similiar situation, to get me to see how stupid I am.


I wish I knew what to do.

Do I run away or do I stay and scrub?

Help??

The most painful things - hugs and giraffes

So, I've had two relationships since that day in '87 when I realized that Tom and I were never going to be together. I tried to move on.

Here is the weird thing...when each of these men got stupid, Tom was there.

The first one stalked me, tried to kill me, and put me in the hospital numerous times. That was unwelcome...that was stalking...that was creepy.

I don't know if he told the truth about an encounter Tom allegedly had with him. I don't know, I wasn't there. Still, I took drastic measures to hide...

I changed my name, my hair, my face and...you know...I even changed my eye color with hypnosis. They used to be dark brown. Now they're emerald green.

My first husband thinks I married my high school sweetheart. I don't argue anymore, whatever makes him think he was the victim in our relationship is a-okay by me because it means he'll stay far away from me.

He's the kind of man that I can love at a distance...the farther the better.

The second one lets his family stalk me for him. He claims not to be aware of it -but- he must know. It's been going on for 20 years now...it hurts.

Oh, and he used to call me Mrs. [Tom's last name] and claimed that it was due to my career [a famous hypnotist shares my first love's name]. He calls me that because he used to hear me talk in my sleep when we shared a room.

He recently told me he was jealous of Tom because he has my loyalty. If his cousins or old friends from high school speak ill of my old flame, I get upset and defend him. Tom never beat me, stole from me, punched holes in the walls of my home, or stalked me.

God always brings Tom into my life right before all hell breaks lose.

When I promised myself that I would never allow myself to care for anyone anymore, he arrives.

Why?

This hurts.

And that damn giraffe...the one he gave me in Feb. '87 turned up on the floor again. That sucker is a memory trigger...I remember...I don't really want to...

it hurts to know I was so stupid and I caused so much pain to one I care for so deeply.

The point of this is that the people who are stalking me know their contact is unwanted. One was served with a restraining order in '91, the other trio of troublemakers received a no-contact letter co-authored by my lawyer after threatening to attack one of my friends from high school way back in '01.
.

Restraining orders and no-contact orders do not do a lick of good. On the other hand, telling stalkers that you can hypnotize them into telling the truth in front of a police officer is highly effective. Since doing that, the trio of troublemaking stalkers related to Mike never confront me, only the people around me.

That is, until the day I went out to lunch with Tom. I was confronted by someone I think was spying on us. I don't know what they'd think they'd see....stupid people. If they are that in need of a show, they need to rent some porn - Geez! They've stalked me so much over the years, they ought to know I'm as celibate as a Mennonite school girl living by herself on a deserted island somewhere.

They went too far when they had their friend start harassing my associates. I'm the last person they want to piss off right now.

Anyway....

Tom, dear friend, you are welcome into my life. I just don't want to fill your beautiful brain with my sadness and pain and it's more fun to hear your voice than my own. I trust you completely, I just don't want to waste those few precious moments I spend with you talking about my boring life.

Stop hiding in the shadows and come into the light.


I don't know what kind of friendship we can have...or if we can have one at all given the past...but I'm here for you. I realize now that you've always been here for me.

Love ya,

S.

P.S. Oh, I should probably state that I did not get married or change my name...I'm playing with my stalkers. No matter what, I'll fight the temptation to change my appearance again and hide again..but at 41, I really, really want cosmetic surgery...

Yeah, yeah...you're right. I don't like pain so I'll probably will let my body look like a worn out old sock as I age.

P.S.S. No matter what - LIVE! I don't care what you do, just be happy. Even if you never see me again...please know that you're loved.