"You're such a beautiful cow."
He was a rancher.
I'm pretending to be everything the gossips in my life say I am in the hopes that I can create some kind of believable fictional character. The things I write about are based on the gossip and some of my life experiences. After five years, the only thing I've learned from this experience is that I can be quite the Trickster....thus the name of the blog. Love ya!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Thank Goodness you are not Psychic
Worst Thing I've Ever Heard From a Man:
"This is the kind of love you're destined to share with the world".
(said by a spouse during a very private moment).
(I think he had me confused with Roxanne, scary.)
A Literal Name
The Funniest Thing I've Ever Heard From a Man:
"Your name is really Sheila? Really? Why on earth would anyone name their daughter girl?"
He was Australian.
"Your name is really Sheila? Really? Why on earth would anyone name their daughter girl?"
He was Australian.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Can't do Everything 100%
Conscious Incompetence: When you know that you completely suck at something (e.g. math, science, brain surgery, romance and so on...).
Unconscious Incompetence: When you completely suck at something but don't realize it (e.g. someone with a dry sense of humor who cannot understand why no one laughs her jokes*, someone who cannot understand why women won't go out with him because his pick-up lines worked twenty years ago, and half the contestants on the first episode of American Idol).
* guilty as charged....
Unconscious Incompetence: When you completely suck at something but don't realize it (e.g. someone with a dry sense of humor who cannot understand why no one laughs her jokes*, someone who cannot understand why women won't go out with him because his pick-up lines worked twenty years ago, and half the contestants on the first episode of American Idol).
* guilty as charged....
Sunday, July 8, 2007
We have come a long way down a one way street, baby!
Okay, if I read one more feminist research study about the way in which porn makes women devalue their physical appearance, I'm going to scream:
"how do you think men feel when they see John Holmes and Long Dong Silver?"
"how do you think men feel when they see John Holmes and Long Dong Silver?"
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Emotional Straightjackets
Committed Relationship: a). a relationship built upon the foundation of mutual love and respect b). a crazy making, co-dependent, and dysfunctional relationship in which each partner has lost touch with reality to the extent that each should be committed.
Care to Dance, Roxanne?
Hoe-Down: In a dysFUNctional family a hoedown refers to having to go downtown to bail out a sibling for visiting with a peace officer after placing a red light in her bedroom window.