Funeral Drama and Crazy Toxic Expectations

So, I attended Carol's funeral.

The first night was the viewing and the Catholic Mass. Very few people showed up. I felt so sad for Carol's daughters.

The next morning was the funeral. I got the privilege of getting glared at by my ex's mother and father, his aunt and uncle, and his sister-in-law.

His Uncle actually approached me, got within two inches of my face before spinning on his heels and turning back. His wife just stared.

Maybe I'm stunning? I don't know.

Thank Goodness, I had a full schedule. I skipped out on the wake to attend to my clients. Upon arriving at work, I noticed a small wardrobe malfunction. There was a teeny tiny tear in the crotch of my black suit...maybe that's why they were staring. It made sense and gave me quite a laugh. I mean, I was wearing all black and I'm sure whitey tighties stood out like a sore thumb.

Or so I thought. I think they are mad about something else.

My Ex went to the wake. His father criticized his weight.

His father demanded to know where he worked and was upset when Mike wouldn't tell him. In the past, his Mother and Sister were known to call his bosses to either complain about Mike's workload or hours.


They have contacted my employers to spread gossip and a teeny tiny part of me wonders if this is where Mike's former boss got some of the weird fodder for his firing (you know, the stuff about my degree making Mike "lazy", my disability that they think I'm faking, and Mike's supposed propensity for arguing on the phone - it does sound like the kind of stuff my Mother-in-Law used to say way back in the day). I still can't figure out why I'd read crap like that in court hearing transcripts pertaining to the City I live in.  Hmmmm....it's weird.

Someday they'll understand that people in power should not spin gossip. The truth usually does far more damage. Methinks that's gonna be an expensive lesson for them.

Anyway, it finally came out that his parents have the expectation for me to come to their house and clean for them, or as they put it "help out".

I can't. They lie and say that I've threatened them. They hint that I've beat them. They've stated overtly that my brother-in-law stole money from them and his wife steals (get this...it's soo funny) Beanie Babies. They scream that what I do isn't good enough. I just can't do it. I used to help. I can't anymore. Seriously, if I did visit with a mop, how long will it take for me to get arrested due to false allegations of dustbunny theft, threatening behavior or abuse? Absolutely not....

Oh, and they love to accuse me of hypnotizing people to do whatever I want them to do. I used to get phone calls from his relatives bitching me out for "mesmerising" them. Yeah, yeah, it must be the shiny jewelry I wear. I'm sorry. I didn't do that on purpose. Truth be told, I only hypnotized their son once and if they only knew what it caused their son to do, they'd have him hooked up to an IV to replenish bodily fluids. He still talks about that (he should do more than talk...stupid, stupid...).

Because people have to be intelligent in order to be hypnotized, my in-laws absolutely have nothing to worry about.

As far as the house keeping issue, they have a 37 year old daughter at home. She can help. Their other son and daughter-in-law live less than a mile away. My in-laws claim to babysit their two children every day, why can't they arrange to help them in return?

I just can't do it. I live an hour away and, besides, I am too afraid. My marriage to her son ended when she started lying about me. Why should I put myself at further risk?

At the wake, several people had approached Mike to complain that he doesn't show up to family functions. Well, his Mother had basically told him he was uninvited to family functions until we divorced. His Father sent a letter disowning him. They don't tell Mike about funerals, weddings, or anything - how in the world is Mike supposed to know?

This doesn't make sense. Really, they can't talk to him but they want his help. They expect mine. It isn't going to happen.

Upon hearing about the expectation that I was to do their housework from a family friend, I asked how that can be accomplished if they constantly glare at me and refuse to speak one word to me. Seriously, how will I know what they need me to do if they cannot communicate to me that the toilet needs cleaned, the floors mopped, or the laundry done?

Well, it appears that they don't want me to do the housework per se...Today I was informed that I am supposed to hire a maid for them!

Uh.....I prefer to contribute to worthy organizations that don't punish me for volunteering my time or money.

Goodness -

And, you know, it's really tough for a psychic to visit a cemetery on Halloween. I tried to convey to my Brother-in-Law that Mr. Ortiz did not like it when he stood on his grave....he didn't understand.

At least, I had charming company in my midst. Maybe I should go back and bring Mr. Ortiz some flowers to thank him for his warm welcome in a gathering of cold shoulders. He truly has a beautiful spirit.

Happy Samhain,

S.

P.S. After reflecting upon the family friends insight, I realized that I DO like the idea of a maid but I am not in a position to pay for it. Their antics broke my bank account. Their son stole the 401K and I'm terrified of the tax liability. I can't afford it for them. Besides, they have made it clear that I am not a member of their family thus it is not my responsibility.

Maybe they can get their three kids to split the bill. I'll mention this to Mike.

I truly like the idea so much so that I promise myself to hire a maid to help my elderly aunt when I make my first six figure mark and after this divorce thingy is settled. She helped me after I was orphaned. She should get help now.

I've got my own beautiful people to look after.

Love you guys,

S.

Slow and Stupid

So....

I found myself in the grocery store with my ex. He said he was thirsty and wanted tea.

I spied the coffee and exclaimed "Oh my, I love Irish Cream!"

He said "Me, too."

Thinking he wanted a cup, I grabbed another and heard "I don't want the coffee" he stood there grinning like a freaky animal who could barely verbalize "I guess, you can can guess where my mind is today."

Uh, no. It took thirty minutes for me to figure out what that that man meant. I was standing near a schoolyard when I could feel the heat rise through my body.

Four hours later, I'm still blushing.

Gawd, I'm slow!

Love ya,

Some Irish-American Crazy Chick