Dad wasn't insane....

I had intended to spend today working in my new office in my home town but, lo and behold, the key does not work. I ended up spending the day messing around.

I spent time in the coffee shop that reminded me of my high school sweetheart. Luckily, I ended up talking to the beautiful waitress about all sorts of philosophical matters. That was a fun way to spend a few hours.

I went to the guitar shop and wished I played well enough to justify buying a Martin. I found some snapshots of beautiful vintage bass guitars, like a red 1964 Gibson Thunderbird.

Ooooohhhh....

I can't say the guy I dated as a teen was my first love. Sorry, dude, my first love was a Peavey.

Speaking of old flames, I kept my promise of breaking sticks in order to free his soul. I know I blog about this quite a bit but it is important to me.

My step-dad was Cherokee and he used to say that when one cannot forget another person, dreams about him all of the time, and feels his presence right before he shows up means she has not released his soul entirely.

Sometimes when we are in love, our partners care so much for us that they give us parts of their souls. When one doesn't get his or her entire soul back, both parties feel like they are missing a part of themselves. They lose their creativity. They may give up their music or give up their art. They feel depressed and lost.

It is not a good place to be.

I was told that if one party in a former relationship is having trouble getting over it and is reminded constantly of the other, it is highly likely the other person is having the same problem. I ignored that. Unfortunately, I learned that dear old Dad was right: I'm not the only one having intrusive thoughts of a love long lost.

Okay, maybe it never got lost. It just mutated into something awkward and nondescript. I was hoping for friendship but I doubt that could ever be as there is far too much emotion there.

Still, if I love the man, I will do the right thing whatever that may be. Freeing him seems like the right thing to me.

I was told to go into nature and break a stick while praying for his soul to be released. I've been doing that for many years. I started having nightmares of him three years ago, so I stepped up this activity. I've been going to my old hometown every weekend for three years to break sticks and pray for him.

I spend so much time there that I've made a few friends in the area. It has begun to feel like a second home. I still giggle that my keister can be found on the home page of the area's tourist website (hint: purple shirt, pony tail, and blue jeans).

This is insane.

So, today I sat in the park where I fell for my old friend some twenty-three years ago and had a thought. I began to think that this stick-breaking procedure was bunk and that Dad must have meant something different.

After much pondering, I wondered if he meant that I needed to find a new stick attached to someone with an exotic foreign sounding name (maybe Pablo, Flavio, or Sergio) in order to get over it. Then, I wondered, perhaps Allen needs to become fascinated with a super hot tunnel?

If that is the answer, I don't want to know. Godspeed my friend.

Eureka!!
That had to be the solution!

Just to be sure, I ran a Google check on the terms "soul retrieval, Shamanism, Stick" and found that other people claim that breaking a stick can break a soul damaging bond.

I guess Dad wasn't crazy after all.

So, that means that I'll be in my hometown every weekend breaking sticks until the dreams stop. And, in the meantime, I'll avoid men named Pablo, Paco and Sergio. I can't be in a relationship so long as I scream my old friend's name in the middle of the night.

Unless I can find a soul mate with his name. Well no, I usually scream very sad things and wake up in tears. So, it's not worth it. I'll just keep myself busy.

For my old friend, please be okay,.  Someone loves you (probably hundreds of someones are secretly pining for you). I mean that. I honestly had no clue how much I cared until I started having nightmares about you. Please, be careful and take care of yourself. Beautiful things are just around the corner. Keep your eyes open!

Love ya,

S.

P.S. I am tempted to post a photo of the puppy who is named after him...the dog is very, very fun and cute!

I once wished that I'd see you my old friend again to find out that he was okay. The day I made that wish I met the dog. So, I guess the good Lord grants wishes with a twist. I did get to meet a male with that name.

I am certain that the Creator has a wicked sense of humor.

Yes, God did eventually grant me the privilege of looking into that set of sea-blue eyes and learning first hand that my friend was alive, healthy, and prosperous. So, take heart, prayers are answered.....eventually.

That is why the stick-breaking and praying continue to this very day.

Soon....I feel it...it will be over for us both. It's about time!